


Y Control

by tapdancinghippo



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-04
Updated: 2012-11-25
Packaged: 2017-11-09 04:56:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 44,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/451530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tapdancinghippo/pseuds/tapdancinghippo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place two years after an initial outbreak of a mysterious virus that causes a change in people's behavior - before and after death. Quinn's gone missing and Rachel makes it her goal to find her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

A/N: Minor trigger warning: suicide.

Present

It had been two years since the first outbreak. Families watched each other die while the rest of the human population just waited and prayed. Religious fanatics encouraged people to repent and cleanse themselves of their sins before it was too late and they were turned into the monsters they all feared. Politicians pushed for new laws that forced people to turn themselves in and used military muscle to force some citizens into quarantine.

The initial panic had died down somewhat and there were fewer stories about The Infection, as the media were calling it, and more about how communities were dealing with the aftermath. Lima, Ohio was practically overrun, so many people migrated to the outskirts and in more rural areas; some left the country altogether. Military outposts were set up in major cities and the head medical and research office was found in California with branches in New York and Chicago.

Makeshift graves were scattered everywhere – in front of houses, in overcrowded cemeteries, and even in school playgrounds. The unfortunate souls were buried anywhere there was space. Mangled body parts peeked out of the ground as a constant reminder that the human race had failed somewhere along the line. Those who could not be buried were burned in an abandoned landfill. The life that people knew was completely different. Professions that existed before the infection no longer had any practical use. Teachers, of course, were still needed, as were medical practitioners and scientists. There was also still a need for entertainers to take the edge off and make people forget about their current state.

That's where Rachel Berry came in. She was one of the last performers standing, so to speak. She had started her career while attending NYADA and taking on small roles where possible - a TV ad here, a back-up vocal there. She wanted to use her presence and talent to help people forget. She wanted to help people forget that they had lost so much; forget that they had to live differently; forget that they were alone.

Ever since The Infection, Rachel started changing her perspective as most people had to do. Things went from being all about her and her career to making people that she knew feel better about their hopeless situation. Above all, she wanted to make her fathers proud.  
It was the least she could do.

She found her fathers together in their home in Lima. They had already begun their transformation when she went to visit after hearing that her hometown had been affected. When she looked into her fathers’ eyes, they weren’t their eyes. They were bloodshot and empty, yellow skin surrounding them, almost as if they had become lepers or were already dead. She remembered crying in their arms when they told her what was happening and what was going to happen.

Denial filled Rachel’s mind and heart. She was too young to lose her fathers. They were supposed to attend her first Broadway show, give her away at her wedding and spoil her future children. They were supposed to be invincible and just be around forever.

“You’ll be okay, baby girl,” they would tell her. “You’re stronger than you think. You’ll never be alone, because we’ll be watching and looking after you.”

Rachel cried for months after that visit. She promised to visit them as often as she could, but with all of her prior engagements, it didn’t leave her much vacation time.

Kurt was in Boston, but he had to drop out of college due to the infection. It attacked his muscles and bones. It grabbed hold and refused to let go, and eventually, he lost his ability to control his own body. His voice became rugged and raspy as if he smoked ten packs of cigarettes a day, even though he had never touched a cigarette in his life. He comforted Rachel as much as he could, but when the time came, he and Blaine had checked themselves into a military hospital to be monitored. They didn’t want to take any chances.  
Rachel went to visit them both when she could, but between those two and her fathers, her work, and everything else that was going on, she found it hard to juggle it all. She knew the end was coming soon and she prayed to anyone who was listening that they would hold on long enough so that she could say goodbye.

During one of her performances, a man came up to her backstage and said that she needed to come with him. In general, she would never trust a strange man no matter how expensive his suit or how important he looked. There was a look in his eyes that pleaded with her and then she knew: Her fathers were dead.

There was no funeral, because there were just so many who passed and it appeared to never end. Rachel had them cremated and spread their ashes around one of the nearby reservoirs. A country club was located on the reservoir, as well, and right before Rachel had gone off to college, the owners of the country club finally opened it up to gay couples. Rachel and her fathers would have picnics there once a week when they became members as a sort of “up yours” to the other members who voted against it.

This was almost a year ago. Rachel was slowly losing everyone who meant anything to her and she was drowning. She hadn’t spoken to Quinn in almost four years. After high school, they kept in touch while she was at NYADA and Quinn was at Yale. They would text and Skype together just to say hi or ask how the other was doing, ask about their glee club friends, or complain about their classes.

Once finals had come around before spring break of their freshman year, Quinn dropped off the face of the planet. She stopped texting, stopped signing onto Skype; even Santana and Brittany hadn’t heard from her. Rachel assumed that Quinn had just gotten really busy with schoolwork, but when she hadn't heard from her at all during their spring break or anytime after, she figured that Quinn had found her own friends and Rachel should do the same.

Finn joined the army right out of high school and was sent to North Carolina to train. He was glad he'd at least be in the same time zone as Rachel and they were still talking, even though they had broken up. They still wanted to be friends.

Finn never quite understood Rachel and Quinn's friendship, but he didn't get in the way. He knew that Rachel needed familiarity, so having Quinn and Kurt to talk to when he wasn’t available would help a lot. Rachel worked in the campus bookstore and took the opportunity to meet more students and faculty by working on campus and she hoped that it would benefit her in the long run.

Rachel lived fairly happily in New York. Things were tough at times, but she expected them to be. Kurt would come by once a month to spend time with Rachel. They'd go see the latest musical or play on Broadway, though most of them had been shut down; stuffed themselves full of food, and just hung out at Rachel's apartment and discussed the latest trends.

After high school, all of them had promised to keep in touch. Rachel and Finn put their relationship on hold, saying that if they were meant to be together, they would end up together; they had all the time in the world.

That is, until The Infection was discovered.

Finn was the last to go. When he moved to New York, Rachel let him stay with her. They talked about their future and what their current relationship meant. They were content with just being in each other’s company again. Finn knew that he didn’t have much longer and he would try to downplay what was going on in his body so Rachel wouldn't worry, but she did anyway. She quit her job, hardly ate, and spent most of her time trying to research and find some way to keep him alive longer. The internet only had so much information. They tried everything. She made him take ice baths every night, took red meat out of his diet, and even performed various religious rituals. Nothing seemed to be working. Finn's humanity was slipping away and there was nothing she could do.

One night, when Rachel finally fell asleep on their couch after a long night of research, she didn't hear Finn leave the apartment. When a nightmare shook her awake, she slinked into the bedroom, only to find the apartment empty. She opened every door, but Finn was nowhere to be found. His phone was still on the nightstand, but his shoes were gone. After throwing a heavy coat around her shoulders and slipping on a pair of sneakers, she left the apartment in search for her ailing ex-boyfriend.

She walked down a couple of blocks, but it was dark and there were only a few streetlamps on the road. The eerie shadows seemed to follow her every move, feeding on the panic and despair, waiting to swallow her whole. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something move.

Against her better judgement, she walked into an alleyway and as she walked closer the figure, it started to look familiar. She recognized the tall stature of her ex-boyfriend and called out to him, but he didn't make any movements toward her. The closer she got to him, the more frightened she became.

"Finn," she called out timidly, begging him to turn around.

The pale moonlight shone on Finn's hunched body and Rachel looked up at him and realized that his feet weren't touching the ground. There was a rope tied to his neck and he was dangling from a fire escape. Rachel shook Finn's arm, tried to revive him. When he didn't move, she scrambled up the fire escape and untied the noose and Finn's body fell to the floor. Rachel's heart started pounding and she kneeled next to her Finn's cold body. She placed a hand on his chest and her initial sobs started to make her body convulse.  
  
 _He left me. He left me again._

She called the only person she knew who could make her feel like she wasn't spiraling down an endless hurricane of fear and panic. It rang five times until the familiar voice spoke and kindly asked her to leave a message.

_Hi, this is Quinn. Sorry I missed your call. Leave me a message!_

"Quinn, I don't know where you are or what happened between us, but I really need you right now. I don't... I'm so lost. Please, just please call me back."

Rachel crumpled onto the floor and held Finn's head in her arms. She saw an envelope that must have fallen out of Finn's hand on the ground next to her. She picked it up, but couldn't bring herself to open it. Not yet.

She lay down next to Finn's body, not wanting to leave him alone and she knew that even if she called an ambulance, all they would do is take them to a military hospital where she would have to stay overnight to make sure there was no contamination and they would most likely keep her away from Finn's body. This was the only way she would be able to grieve and say goodbye. So, she lay with him.  
  
Periodically, Rachel would look at her phone in case she missed a call or a text, but there was no reply. She came to the frightening realization that she was completely and utterly alone. Quinn wasn't coming for her. Nobody was.


	2. Freshman Year - NY

**Spoilers: Season 3**

Freshman Year of College

                When Rachel moved to New York, she was overwhelmed with the majesty and history of the city.  She and the glee club were there for Nationals their junior year and were able to do some sightseeing.  Rachel knew that this was where she belonged.  There was the temporary lapse in judgement when she thought about moving to California, so Finn could help Puck with his pool cleaning business, but she put and end to that quick smart. 

                Near the end of their senior year, Rachel and Quinn had gotten closer.  Two people who were once sworn enemies, fighting over the same guy, were now friends.  They discussed their plans after high school and decided that since they were only 80 miles away from each other, they could go visit each other. 

Rachel and Quinn would Skype through the hours of the night, talking about everything under the sun.  While they talked, they discussed the latest gossip about Chris Evans’ new movie or Katy Perry’s third baby bump within the year.  She and Finn would still talk once in a while, but for the most part, they had just become acquaintances.

Finn stayed in Lima, joined the army and was shipped out to Fort Bragg in North Carolina.  Puck had ended up going to California with Santana and Brittany, Mike was accepted to The University of the Arts in Pennsylvania for dance, and Kurt had used his rejection from NYADA to fuel his motivation to do something with his life and he was accepted to a prestigious fashion design school in Boston. 

During one particular conversation, Rachel had invited both Finn and Quinn to the Skype conversation and they all talked about how they were struggling with finances, even though their parents were trying to help out as much as they could.  The Hummels had to support two kids, but they did what they could.  Ever since Burt ran for congress, business at his auto shop skyrocketed, but paying for two tuitions was a little more than they had bargained for. 

When Quinn left the conversation to go study, Finn stayed on to get some alone time with Rachel.

“So, how've you been” Finn asked casually.

"I've been great.  My classes are amazing and I'm meeting a lot of new people.  How are you?  How's North Carolina?"

"It's okay, I guess.  I, uh, miss... hanging out."  He really wanted to say that he missed Rachel, but he knew that if he went down that road again, someone would just end up getting hurt. 

Rachel smiled at her webcam.  "I miss hanging out, too.  At least we can still talk like this.  It's nice."  She was still hurt that Finn had broken up with her and basically forced her to go to New York when she was willing to wait.  It had ended up being the most selfless thing Finn ever did for Rachel and she knew that he did it for her, but she still missed having him with her.

“Hey, I want to go visit Quinn during spring break.  She got me that train ticket before graduation and I'd like to use it.  I think it would be nice if you came with me.”

Finn sighed and smiled at his ex-girlfriend.  “Rach, you know I have to work and train.  I can’t afford to take any time off and I’ve taken extra shifts during break.  But you go and have a good time.” 

Rachel felt bad for Finn, because he was always so busy, but she was excited to see Quinn.  They spoke about visiting each other almost every time they talked on Skype, but neither one really had the time and Quinn didn't have the money to go to New York.  Rachel waited for the perfect time to use the ticket and this was as good a time as any.

When her finals ended, Rachel had tried calling and texting Quinn, but she would never reply.  It was out of the ordinary, but Rachel waited patiently.  She had already packed her suitcase and made all of the necessary arrangements.  In a last-ditch effort, she called Quinn, but it didn’t even ring, just went straight to voicemail; she wasn't on Skype, either.  Rachel left her fourth message and hung up. 

She sat down on their sofa and sighed.  Clicking on another name on Skype, she waited for the other line to pick up.

"Hey Rach, how's it going?"

"Hey Finn, I wasn't sure if you'd be there."  Rachel sounded defeated and looked it, as well.  "I left another message for Quinn."

"Still no answer, huh?"

“No, no answer.  She might just be really busy with exams.  We do finish earlier than Yale.” 

Finn gave a supportive smile through the computer screen.  “It doesn’t really explain why she hasn’t replied to any of your messages, though.” 

Rachel just shook her head.  “It isn’t like her.  Maybe something is wrong.  I would try to call her parents, but... you know.”

“Yeah,” said Finn, not certain how to comfort her.  “Maybe Santana or Puck have heard from her.  I can call Puck if you want to call Santana and Brittany.”

Rachel nodded and started dialing.  An out of breath Santana answered the phone.

“What do you want, Berry?  I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

“Oh, gosh, I didn’t interrupt you and, um, Britt... you know,” Rachel said looking horrified.

“What?  No!  I’m out running.  Now, what do you want?”

  1. I’m just worried.”



“Well, maybe you’re freaking her out by acting like a needy girlfriend.  Ease off, tiger.”

Santana always managed to get Rachel all flustered without any effort.  She could hear Brittany in the background telling Santana to be nice; Santana sighed. 

“Look, I’ll try calling her, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.  I haven’t spoken to her in months, either.  I just assumed she joined some sorority or a cult out there and they’re taking up all her time.  I’m sure she’s fine.  I’ll let you know if I hear anything.”

“Thanks, Santana.  Tell Brittany I said hi and I’ll be sending Lord Tubbington some Nicorette gum, so he can quit smoking.”

Brittney yelled out at the phone, “Thanks, Rach!   Tubbs will thank you too when he won't have to get a lung transplant.”

The conversation left Rachel cold.  She wasn't any closer to finding Quinn or figuring out why she wouldn't return her calls.  Rachel was saving up extra money to pay for her own train ticket if she ever needed to travel anywhere, so she decided to head to Yale anyway and see if Quinn's roommate knew where she was.  Quinn had sent her address to Rachel when their first semester began. 

Finn wasn't too thrilled with the idea of Rachel going to New Haven on her own, but he knew that she would never forgive him if he talked her out of it.  The two hour trip was nerve-wracking.  Rachel wanted Quinn to be okay, but part of her hoped that something had happened to cause Quinn to not speak to Rachel.  The other soul crushing option was that Quinn was ignoring her. 

When Rachel arrived in New Haven, she walked straight to the university campus.  She pulled out her phone and looked through her texts to find Quinn's dorm building.  As she arrived in front of Harkness Hall, she realized that she needed a key to get into the residential area.  Students were walking around, some giving Rachel odd looks, but a couple finally walked towards the door and asked if she needed to get in.  Ignoring the fact that she could be a serial killer and they were letting her waltz right in, she was just glad that they overlooked their security and held the door open for her.

She walked up to Quinn's room and knocked quietly.  All she knew about Quinn's roommate was that her name was Rebecca and she was an architecture major.  The door opened and a very tall brunette stood in front of Rachel.  The only thing Rachel could think about was how tall this girl was.  She could give Finn a run for his money for tallest person ever. 

"Can I help you?"

"Oh, um, I'm looking for Quinn.  I was supposed to come visit her during spring break." 

The girl looked confused.  She looked behind her and Rachel could see that there was only bed that was made; the other appeared empty – no pillows, no sheets, just a few miscellaneous things that were piled on it.  It looked more like a spare desk than a bed.

"Quinn didn't tell you?  She dropped out."

Rachel's jaw dropped.  She probably looked like someone slapped her across the face, because it sure felt like it.  Hearing that left her without words, which was unusual. 

"What-, how-,” she paused and composed herself.  “When did she drop out?  Getting out of Lima and going to college meant everything to her.  I don't understand."

"It was strange.  She seemed to be doing fine.  Then, all of a sudden, she was gone; didn’t even come back to get her stuff or say goodbye.  It was just packed up and gone when I got back from class one day."

Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing.  She refused to believe that Quinn would quit and leave Yale without telling anyone.  She wouldn’t just disappear.  There was nothing else she could do at Quinn’s room, so she turned to leave.  Rachel had given her Rebecca her phone number in case Quinn came back or called.

Feeling quite defeated, Rachel left the dorm building and contemplated searching for all of Quinn’s professors, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to find all of them.  She didn’t even know her schedule.  Rachel found a bench to sit on and lay her head on her hands.  The thought of raising a missing persons report crossed her mind, so she found the campus police and walked in like she meant business.

  1. “Excuse me, I’d like to report a missing person.”



   The middle-aged woman pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, looking completely unimpressed.  “How long have they been missing?”

“Well, technically, a few weeks.  She hasn’t been answering her phone or texts and she mysteriously dropped out of Yale when she was so excited about coming here.  I’m really worried.”

“Name?”

“Mine or hers?”

The woman behind the desk blinked a couple of times.  “Hers.  We need to know who we’re looking for.”

“Oh, right.  Quinn Fabray.  She’s about 5’6”, blonde hair, hazel eyes.  I probably have a picture of her on my phone.  Do you need a picture?  Hang on, I’ll find a good one.”

“That’s okay, miss.  I’ll file the report.”  The officer typed a few things into her computer and once Rachel was satisfied that the officer was doing her job, she left.  As she walked out of the police station, a lanky man started walking towards her.  He was wearing a long coat, even though it was 80 degrees outside and a pair black army boots. 

“You looking for the Fabray girl?” 

Rachel audibly gulped and nodded.  She stood close to the door of the police station in case she needed to run back in. 

“She told me to give this to you.”  He handed her a piece of paper and walked away. 

Rachel sputtered and yelled back at him, “Hey, wait!  When did you see her?  Is she okay?”

The man turned his head and kept walking.  “Read the note.”

Rachel stared at the envelope.  Her name was written on it in Quinn’s flowing handwriting.  She turned it over and began ripping it open, heart pounding and palms sweating.  The note was written on small notepad paper with palm trees all over it.  It was very Quinn. 

As she started reading the note, her smile started to turn into a frown.  She furrowed her brow and wasn’t quite sure what to make of the letter.  The only thing that stuck was:

_Please stop looking for me.  I’m fine, I just don’t have time for you or anyone else right now._

Really, Quinn?  She disappeared for weeks, stopped answering calls, scared Rachel half to death and then sends a note to say to stop looking for her?  Rachel was furious, to say the least.  Her best friend abandoned her and the only contact she’s gotten is through a vague letter.  Rachel couldn’t help but feel hurt by Quinn’s words.  How could she not have time?  She was the one who bought the metro ticket and invited her to Yale.

She wanted to call Finn to tell him what’s happened, but she knows that he would either tell her ‘I told you so’ or ‘Now you can stop worrying’.  The problem was, even though she knew Quinn was okay, she was still worried.  Why didn’t Quinn say she was quitting school?  Why didn’t she let her know she was fine earlier?  

Something was wrong; Rachel could feel it, but with only a letter, there wasn’t much to go off of.  Rachel wouldn’t have any idea where to start looking for answers and Quinn – if it really was Quinn – told her to stop looking. 

Rachel spent the night in a small hotel near the university and headed home the next day.  When she got back to her apartment, she sat down and flipped on the TV.  The channel was on CNN and the anchor was talking about a new test drug that would prevent the flu, or cancer, or something.  She wasn't really paying attention.  What caught her eye was that they were doing the story on the Yale campus.  They were interviewing one of the biochemistry professors and he was explaining how this new drug would work.  It was meant to attack infections head-on and prevent it from spreading. 

It was an interesting concept, but before Rachel could give the TV her undivided attention, a text message popped up on her phone.

**Hey Rach, are you on Skype?**

**I can be, hang on a sec.**

The familiar Skype beeps started coming through her laptop and she answered Finn's call.

"Hey, you're home early.  Did you find Quinn?"

"No, not exactly," she said, turning her head to look back at the TV to see if they were talking to anyone else on the Yale campus. 

"What do you mean 'not exactly'?"

"Well, I went to her dorm and her roommate said that she dropped out of Yale and disappeared.  Didn't say where she was going or why she was dropping out.  She was just... gone." 

Finn looked visibly shocked and speechless.  Rachel continued to explain what happened while she was in New Haven to the dumbstruck boy.

"So then, I went to the campus police station to report her as missing, because I didn't really know what else to do.  When I came out, some strange looking guy came walking up to me.  I had my mace in my purse, of course, in case he tried any funny business, but all he did was hand me this letter."

She took the letter out of the envelope and showed it to Finn through the webcam.  He squinted at his own screen and had a look on his face that he only had when trying to figure out a video game puzzle.  As he mouthed the words that he tried to read, he would occasionally raise an eyebrow or rub his eyes as if that would make the picture quality clearer. 

"... the fuck?  Quinn basically brushed you off?  That’s really rude, even for her.”

Rachel just shook her head.  "I don't know.  I feel no closure.  I mean, I'm glad she's okay, but this is just too strange."

"How do we even know that Quinn wrote that?  Does it look like her handwriting?"

"I don't know, maybe?  It's written how she would speak.  'Tell your tree of an ex-boyfriend to take care of you'."

Finn rolled his eyes.  "Yeah, you're right.  So, what now?"

"Well, I'm not going to stop looking.  We just have to trust Quinn to come back when she's ready."

Finn smiled at her with a kindness in his eyes, but also with a hint of doubt.  If Quinn wanted to be found, she'd allow it.  She wouldn't play these games and leave strange notes.  There was a feeling at the pit of Finn's stomach that something strange was going on and he knew Rachel was going to get herself caught right in the middle with no way out.


	3. Freshman Year CA

Present

Rachel was lying on the ground, dehydrated and freezing. She was half awake and could hear faint voices.

"Hey, over here, I got something."

"Be careful, it could still be alive, or, well, you know."

"Daniels, I'm always careful. That's why I'm the squad leader. Now, watch my back."

"With pleasure... ow! That hurt!"

"Watch yourself before I go all Lima Heights - Holy shit, I know these people. I went to high school with them." The person checks Rachel's pulse. "She's still alive. Get her in the truck now!"

"What about the other one?"

"He's gone... broken neck. I'm so sorry, Finn."

Rachel woke up on a hospital bed, IV drip stuck in her arm. The sunlight made her squint and she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She had no idea where she was. It looked like an ordinary hospital and there was a bouquet of flowers on the bedside table. There wasn't a card anywhere that Rachel could see, but it was a bunch of gardenias. She instantly knew who they were from and it just confused her more.

The door opened and a nurse walked in. Rachel thought that it was either the painkillers or drowsiness, but she could have sworn that the nurse looked exactly like Brittany. She rubbed her eyes again, but the nurse was still tall, blonde, and the spitting image of her high school friend.

"Hey, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I guess," Rachel croaked out. Her body suddenly shot up. "Finn. Where's Finn?"

The nurse looked down. "He... he was dead when they found you, Rachel. I'm sorry." Tears welled up in the corner of Rachel's eyes. She was hoping it had been a bad dream, but it wasn't. The reality that Finn, Kurt, and her fathers were all gone was sinking in. She had never felt so alone. It was far worse to lose people that you loved than it was to be alone and have no one to lose in the first place.

The blonde sat on the edge of the bed and brought Rachel in for a hug. "I'm really sorry, Rach. San is, too. She told me she found you and Finn together."

It _was_ Brittany. That just made Rachel cry harder. Brittany rubbed Rachel's back and just held her while she sobbed out her pain. Santana stood in the doorway and watched. Normally, she'd be insanely jealous that Brittany was holding someone else, but she allowed it this time. After all, Berry had just gone through a whole lot; they all had.

* * *

Freshman Year – California

Puck had moved to California with Brittany and Santana to start up his pool cleaning business. He was taking night classes so he wouldn't be a Cali Creep, in addition to a Lima Loser, and it was going well. The three of them were renting a 2-bedroom house close to UCLA, where Santana had been accepted to do a sociology/gender studies double major. Brittany found a job as an assistant teacher at a dance studio and she loved it. Her favorite class was the 7-10 year-olds hip hop class; Brittany always felt that she could speak to children a lot easier than adults.

While Puck started to build his customer base, he quickly realized that there were way more wealthy cougars in California than there were in Lima. This was going to be a piece of cake and he was going to charm the pants of all of these MILFs - literally.

The three of them spent most of their holidays together because they couldn't afford to go home all the time. They had promised to go home the next spring for McKinley's graduation ceremony, since they were staying in California for Christmas and New Year's.

Winter in California was nowhere near as cold as it was in Lima, but that didn't stop Puck from worrying about getting sick. He was a bit of a hypochondriac, so naturally, he went to the pharmacy near their house to get plenty of cold and flu medicine and his yearly flu shot.

When he walked into the pharmacy, there was a table set up with chairs on either side. Nurses were walking around with their syringes and latex gloves. Something that Puck noticed was they were all wearing shirts with a strange design on it. It looked like a heart in a crown and the back of the shirt had the quote "It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place". Puck had no idea what that meant and it didn't really have anything to do with flu shots, but he just shrugged to himself and waited in line.

When it was his turn for his shot, he sat in a chair and lifted the arm of his shirt and gave the nurse a wink.

"Hope the syringe doesn't break on my arm."

"Oh, don't worry, sir, it won't. Unfortunately, it won't pop your inflated head, either," the nurse replied with a smirk. Puck grinned and winced a little when the needle was stuck into his arm with no extra care from the nurse. She placed a band-aid with a white rabbit on his arm and thanked him for coming.

Puck placed a comforting hand on his war wound and started to head home. On the way back to the house, he felt a bit sore, but he always did when stabbed with sharp objects. When he got home, he plopped in front of the couch and watched some trashy reality show until he fell asleep. Santana had classes all day and Brittany had dance classes until 4, so this would be the only alone time he'd have. He fell into a deep sleep and let it consume him. Visions started plaguing his mind.

_In one dream, he was running away from someone or something. He could feel the fear and panic; this was the most lucid dream that he'd ever had. When he looked behind his shoulder, he could see a man in ragged clothing chasing him. He ran into an alleyway and trapped himself. The man stopped at the mouth of the alley and stopped, staring and looming over Puck. The man's shadow engulfed Puck._

_Puck turned around to look behind him for anything to throw and defend himself with and there was nothing but brick wall. When he turned back towards the man, he had split into a lion and a unicorn._

_"Do not be afraid," the lion said in a deep, gentle voice. "I am actually trying to get to the unicorn there behind you. The unicorn had a crown hanging from its horn and was standing as if it was ready to bolt down the street. "I have been chasing him for quite some time." Baring its teeth, the lion stalked closer to the unicorn._

_Puck looked up at the unicorn as it knelt down, inviting him to jump on its back. Hesitantly, he climbed into the white beast and grabbed onto is hair. The unicorn galloped past the lion, swiping at it with its horn and the lion reared onto its hind legs, ready to pounce. "That crown is mine," the lion snarled and he jumped up to attack the unicorn's legs to keep it from running, but he caught Puck's shoulder instead and ripped through the skin, tearing muscles in half. Just as the lion was about to bite down onto Puck's neck, he woke up._

Sweat was dripping down Puck's brow and he was shivering even though the heater in the house was on and he had a heavy blanket over him. He heard the door open and swung his head around. Santana had gotten home from class with Brittany in tow. They must have met up somewhere along the way.

"Wow, Puck, you look like shit."

"Yeah, I went out to get some cold medicine and a flu shot and now I feel like death."

Brittany looked at Puck curiously. "But you don't have a black robe or one of those curvy pointed staff things."

Santana looked at her girlfriend, shook her head, and smiled. Man, she loved her. "No, sweetie, he means that he feels really sick."

"Oh," Brittany smiled innocently. "When Lord Tubbington feels sick, I give him a hot water bottle and chicken soup. I'll go make some now!"

Brittany skipped into the kitchen to start her Sicky Icky Feel Good Meal. Santana rounded the side of the couch and sat down near Puck's feet.

"No, really, you look awful. Maybe you should see a doctor." Seeing Santana being concerned was almost scarier than his dream.

"I can't afford to go to the doctor. You know I don't have health insurance and they'll charge me an arm and a leg just for a stupid check-up."

"Suit yourself. Don't blame me when you die from smallpox, or whatever." Puck smirked back and gave her a playful punch on her arm. Brittany walked back into the room carrying a tray with a bowl of soup, hot water bottle, and a glass of chocolate milk, because Dr. Brittany said that chocolate milk made everything better.

"Brit and I are going to go get some dinner. Do you want anything else?"

"It's cool, this will probably tide me over. I'm just going to go hibernate in my room afterwards anyway."

"All right, see you later."

"Bye, Puck!" Brittany waved as the two girls left Puck alone with his man flu.

A month later, Puck still felt ill. He had finally gone to the doctor and was prescribed antibiotics and was told to rest and drink lots of fluids, but nothing seemed to be working. One weekend, he even called Artie, because he knew he was planning on going to medical school, so he would have learned about diseases while taking AP classes. Artie had spouted off some terms that flew right over Puck's head, but basically, Artie just told him he probably just had the flu. When Puck said that he had gotten a flu shot right before getting sick, Artie told him it wasn't a 100% success rate; flu shots were just meant to help the body fight it off, but they didn't always work.

A few weeks later, Puck was starting to feel better, but he could tell something was still off. He paid it no mind, because he could still run his pool cleaning business, attend his night classes, and, of course, please the ladies. That's really all that mattered.

* * *

Like clockwork, Puck got his flu shot the next year and the same thing happened. He would feel sick as a dog for a month and a half and then he'd feel better instantly. It was the strangest thing. He and the girls would go through their daily grinds, getting comfortable in their schedules, and he found himself embracing the thought of having his own family and home - granted, his family were two lesbians who had sex in the next room over while he listened, but that was beside the point.

Once The Infestation went public, Puck did all he could to prepare the three of them for any chaos that was bound to happen. He had seen this before in _The Walking Dead_ and he wasn't going to allow his girls to get eaten by anyone but each other. One day, while he was out buying bottled water and canned food, he saw a shady looking guy scouring the aisles. He looked nervous and was sweating bullets. Puck watched him out of the corner of his eye and continued shopping, grabbing random things off of the shelves hastily.

As we walked up to the cashier, he noticed the creepy guy walking up behind him. Puck braced himself and got ready to take the guy down if he tried anything. There was a click behind him, like the sound of a gun cocking and he turned around swiftly and grabbed the man's arm. The two men wrestled around the supermarket while the cashier ran to find help. Puck could feel the man's wrist turning towards him and then there was a loud bang.

Women screamed and gasped as they watched Puck fall backwards, holding onto his abdomen while blood gushed out and soaked his shirt. The other man stood up, yelled to the crowd of people, "Do you see? This is what happens when the government hides things from its people. Chaos and death ensue. Tell them they're coming." Two large men tackled the shooter and wrenched the gun out of his hand. They held him down until the police and paramedics came.

Puck could feel his eyes closing and it was getting harder to open them. He could hear people around him, telling him to hold on and that help was coming. A young woman was kneeling beside him and held his hand. He whispered something barely audible.

"Please, not yet." Squeezing the woman's hand, he begged whoever might have been listening. He needed to tell Santana and Brittany that the past two years had been some of the best years of his life. He wanted to be a good dad to Beth and wanted to be there for her, unlike his own dad. He wanted to see her on her first day of school, at her graduation, at her wedding. But most of all, he just wanted to be there.

The paramedics rushed up to the supermarket and started working on Puck while the police officers handcuffed the shooter. They could hear him yell, "They're coming," over and over while being dragged out to the police cars. The woman felt Puck's hand become lax and she looked down at him with saddened eyes as they wheeled him out to the ambulance on a stretcher.

"Not yet," she whispered.


	4. Junior Year

**Minor Spoilers: Season 3**

Junior Year of College

Rachel finished her second year of college with a 4.0 GPA and the start of her third year was going well. Finn was excelling in his military law classes. He decided to major in law and criminal science, and even found an internship with some of the people on his base. At the moment, he was just filing and doing random admin jobs, but he was getting to know the people there and the gist of how they worked.

There was talk around the office about new cases popping up where people were suing pharmaceutical companies for making veterans sick, but Finn didn't have access to any of those files. As more cases emerged, more people started to panic. Doctors' offices were packed with people who were trying to get prescriptions and flu shots to combat any diseases just in case they were diagnosed with this new illness. They couldn't keep up with the demand, so they were beginning to turn people away. Some areas were getting out of control; people would flock outside the doors and demand that they be seen, while others just broke into pharmacies and took what they thought they needed. It was chaos.

A government organization called Looking Glass Coalition was put in charge to find suitable treatments. They had been under the radar before all of this started to happen, manufacturing allergy and cold medications, so it was unusual that they would become the major corporation to develop the cure.

Rachel was in the middle of her playwriting class when she first heard about The Infestation, or Virus M - the official name that the government had given it. A faculty member had run into their classroom and told the teacher to turn on a radio or television. One of the students streamed the radio through their phone and plugged them into portable speakers that another student had and they all listened attentively.

_Over three hundred cases have been lodged just in the East Coast alone, and, while the likelihood of this being biological warfare is very low, government officials taking extra precautions. Airports, bus and train stations, as well as subways are being monitored closely and all planes have been grounded. No one is allowed to enter or leave the country until further notice._

_The origin of the disease is unknown, but be assured that the government is making sure that they explore every option to get it under control. Officials are saying that if anyone has any flu-like symptoms or notice any discoloration of the skin, they should seek medical advice. At this time, it appears that only males have complained about symptoms, but every person should be taking extra precautions._

_According to our sources, Looking Glass Corporation has been working day and night to find a cure, so it shouldn't be long now before it's administered to the public, and soon, vaccines will be produced to prevent further outbreaks._

The newscast went on to say there have been signs that the disease had spread to Europe and Asia as well, but it was not yet being called an epidemic. Some of the students left the room to call their friends and families, but Rachel stayed seated and listened. She was trying to understand the gravity of the situation and understand exactly what was happening.

Health scares like this have happened before: West Nile Virus, SARS, Avian Flu. They eventually went away, or were contained. Maybe this would be just like them. After the initial panic wore off, someone somewhere would find a cure or a magic pill that would make it all go away and everyone can go back to their normal, boring, lives. There was nothing to worry about.

Two months later, over 10,000 people had been recorded as being infected. 156 people had died as a result. Out of those 156, 140 of them were over the age of 65. The symptoms had changed from flu-like to jaundice and organ failure. Before the people died, their skin had turned a yellow color and their eyes became bloodshot.

Other rumors surfaced that people with the disease became increasingly hostile and violent, but there was no proof of that. There were, however, an increasing amount of military personnel wandering the streets. The media was saying that, again, it was a precaution and people shouldn't be alarmed, but when there's a beast of a man carrying an M16A4 around like it was a paperback book, it's a little intimidating.

At the end of her class, Rachel called Finn to see if he had heard about this "Virus M".

"It's the weirdest thing; some of the guys here have been taking cases about this disease. They're saying that pharmaceutical companies actually made them sick with some of the treatments and test vaccines they've been giving."

"That's crazy. Is it true?"

"I don't know. I guess anything's possible. I'll keep an eye out and see if I can find any information."

Rachel chewed on her lip nervously. "Okay, but be careful. You know how things can get when we put our nose where it doesn't belong: strange men walk up to you and hand you vague letters from your missing best friend."

"Yeah, I know. I'll be careful. Hey, I gotta go. Talk soon?"

"Okay, sure."

"Bye, Rach."

The phone cut out and Rachel sighed to herself. She had another class to go to, but she didn't have the motivation. Instead, she went to the library and sat in front of one of the computers. She looked up everything that she could about Virus M and the Looking Glass Coalition. Something didn't sit right with her. Why would a random pharmaceutical company like that get put in charge of developing vaccines when they had no other previous vaccines manufactured?

The library was virtually empty. Most of the students had gone home after seeing the news broadcasts. It was amazing that people still got spooked by media scare tactics.

Just as Rachel was about to start reading up on the Looking Glass Coalition's origins, the power went out.

"Hello?" Rachel called out just as she remembered that doing so was a big no-no in horror films. Whenever the victim called out and started walking around, the killer would pop up behind a wall or something and stab them. She kept quiet and stood up slowly, hand on the mace in her purse. The sound of dragging feet echoed through the library and Rachel hid under a table and shut her eyes tight.

The footsteps were getting closer and she could hear a low groan. She was silently begging someone else to come into the room and save her. Something grabbed her ankle and she screamed out. Her eyes shot open and she looked straight into the eyes of her attacker. They were glazed over and almost translucent, skin as grey as a dull knife blade, teeth bared. Rachel kicked her feet out and scooted backwards; she tried spraying the pepper spray into the man's eyes, but it had no effect.

She crawled out from under the desk and started running down one of the library hallways. Tears started to fall down her face; she had never been this terrified in her life. She was about to die. As she hid behind another bookshelf – ironically, holding books on biological and chemical warfare - she could hear the sound of feet shuffling towards her. The same breathy groans accompanied the footsteps. Rachel held her purse up tight to her chest, closed her eyes, and readied herself for her impending death.

_Holy shit. Fuck. Someone please help me. Fucking hell. Please..._

Before the footsteps got to her, there was a thump and the footsteps stopped. The body fell in front of her and Rachel let out a gasp. An axe was embedded in its skull and its empty eyes were staring back at her. She was half expecting it to come back to life and try to grab at her, but it didn't. Peeking between the bookshelves, she tried to see who it was that saved her, but she was afraid to come out. What if it was just another attacker who was taking out the competition?

Just as she finished her thought, Rachel could hear the library door open and close. She peeked out over the corner of the bookshelf. Standing up and stepping over the dead thing, she cautiously walked out towards the door. It was still dark, but her eyes had adjusted. No one else was in the library, so she opened the heavy wooden door of the library and looked out to her left, then to her right. A figure was walking away from her.

"Excuse me," she called out, the lump in her throat caused it to come out as a timid mew. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Hey, excuse me. Please, wait!"

The person in front of her paused. He turned around slowly and Rachel realized that it wasn't a 'he' at all. In fact, she knew this person.

"C-Coach Sylvester?"

"What-, how-," Rachel was speechless, again. Absolute fear and confusion had that effect on her. "I don't understand. What are you doing here?"

Sue Sylvester looked younger than she ever had while at McKinley and still had the confidence she did while coaching the Cheerios. "Well, Baby Barbra, once I heard about this so-called infestation, I took it upon myself to become as prepared as I possibly could. I took self-defense classes, became a master at Brazilian jiu jitsu, and also learned how to blacksmith so I could forge my own weapons.

Rachel blinked twice. Was she being serious? The kids could never tell if Coach Sylvester was telling the truth, so they just assumed that she always did, to save them added confusion and questions.

"Okay, but what are you doing _here_ in New York? I would have thought you'd be breeding a Cheerio army to fight for you."

"I thought about it, but with the amount of laxatives and diuretics that these girls take, I could snap them in half with my eyelashes. It's easier if I just do it all myself. New York seemed to be a hotspot of activity, so I came here to practice my skills. I always knew there were shifty people in this city."

Rachel nodded and the two of them stood in front of each other for a few moments. The silence was broken with a vibration coming from Rachel's purse.

"It's probably Finn. I told him I'd be home two hours ago."

"You're still with Stretch Armstrong? I'm impressed. Anyway, as much as I'd love to catch up on you and your jolly green giant, I must be off."

"We're, um, not together. We broke up before I came to New York. We still talk, on occasion. He's still in the army and is training in North Carolina." Sue never looked more bored in her entire life. "I can't thank you enough for what you did. You saved my life."

"Don't mention it. Just remember: keep your eye on the ball."

Rachel raised an eyebrow and gave one of her famous "what the actual fuck" faces. "Um... 'kay. Thanks again, Coach Sylvester."

Sue raised an arm to wave without turning around. "See you around, Fanny." The world really was ending if Sue Sylvester had just saved her from a... whatever that thing was. Zombie? She almost forgot about the text from Finn, so she unlocked her phone and read the message, but it wasn't from Finn.

**Ms. Berry, there are plenty more where that came from. Please end your investigation.**

**"** Great, just when I didn't think things couldn't get any stranger," she said to herself. She finally left the library building and started heading home.

When she got home, she put her take-out on the kitchen table. Rachel smiled at the normality that welcomed her to the apartment. She walked into the bathroom to shower, since she had been crawling all over the library floor. When she finished, she placed her laptop on the table while she ate and waited for Finn to log onto Skype. When he did, she immediately called him.

"Hey you."

Rachel let out a long breath. "You'll never believe what happened today. I was attacked by a - "

"Zombie?"

The sudden speechlessness hit Rachel again. "Am I the last person to find out about these zombies, or something? Even Sue freaking Sylvester knows about them. And can we just stop a moment and consider how ridiculous this sounds? I mean, zombies?"

Finn knew Rachel was upset because she nearly-swore. She only nearly-swore when she really mad, or when he forgot to get her extra meat with her meals - or was that leave out the extra meat? It was so hard to remember things. "Yeah, I saw some pictures from the cases at work and there were some really creepy looking dudes. They were all grey and missing skin in places, and - wait, what? Coach Sylvester?" Finn scratched his head.

"Yeah, I got attacked in the library at school and I thought I was going to have to put my overdramatic dying act to use."

"What does that have to do with Coach Sylvester?"

"She saved my life. She dug an axe into its skull and saved me." Rachel was visibly shaking now, as she remembered the events a couple of hours earlier. Finn gave a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"I-It's okay. I just wasn't prepared. You know how I like to be extra prepared for things. It wouldn't have been so bad if I had a sword or a gun or something. I can't exactly sing a zombie to death."

Finn chuckled at Rachel's attempt to lighten the mood. "Hey, I was thinking..." he said before a long pause. "They're building a massive military base on Staten Island to have some protection on the east coast, and I was thinking about getting transferred."

"Oh, that's great."

"Yeah, I mean, do you remember what I told you before you left for New York?"

Rachel thought back to one of the most painful moments of her life. She lost her fiancé, moved to a completely new state by herself with no comfort or familiarity, but she had Quinn a mere 80 miles away. 80 miles away might as well have been 8000 miles after Quinn stopped replying to her texts and stopped answering her phone. She had to admit, it would be nice to have someone she was comfortable around to be closer to her.

"I remember. We can discuss it more later on, okay? It's getting pretty late."

"Yeah, sure. I'll keep you updated. Goodnight, Rachel."

Rachel wondered if she should tell Finn about the mysterious text that she got at the library. She decided to wait until another day; all she wanted to do was eat dinner, get a good night's sleep, and go back to some semblance of normalcy. The zombies could wait.


	5. End of Freshman Year

A/U where Finn isn't a complete douchenozzle.

* * *

End of Freshman Year

The rest of freshman year went by quickly. Most of the glee club alumni made it back for graduation to support Artie, Tina, Sam, and the rest. Mercedes couldn't make it because she had exams and Quinn just didn't show up. No one knew where she was or why she didn't make it, but it didn't really surprise anyone. They all knew she wanted to get out of Lima and never look back. It still upset Rachel a little, because the glee club had been her family when she needed one. Quinn had even quit college without telling anyone. She sent through a text message that she knew would go unanswered, but she needed to try anyway.

**Hi Quinn. We're all back in Lima for everyone's graduation. Wish you could be here, everyone misses you.**

She contemplated saying "I miss you," but though t that would be a bit forward, even for her. She did miss Quinn, but the longer you go without talking to someone, the easier it is to forget them. Maybe that's what Quinn was doing. She wanted to forget about Lima and her life there so badly that she was cutting all ties, which meant cutting Rachel out of her life. She understood, but it still hurt.

After the graduation, they all headed to Blaine's house for a party. Everyone started drinking and having a good time, talking about how their senior year went. Artie was going to go to college in California as pre-med, Blaine was going to join Kurt in Boston, and Tina was accepted to Penn State to be closer to Mike.

Rachel needed air, so she left the boys, who were engrossed in their highly graphic video game and walked onto the balcony. She looked out into the horizon, noticing that all of the houses' roofs looked the same. Rachel thought that Quinn would have found it amusing and probably would have started singing the theme song from _Weeds._

As she swiped a tear away, she heard someone else coming outside.

"Hey, Berry, what are you doing out here? Boys wouldn't let you play with them?" It was Santana. Rachel sighed and turned around to face her high school arch nemesis.

"I just needed some air. How have you guys been?"

"Oh, you know... a college class here, a party there. How about you? Been turned down from any Broadway shows lately?"

Rachel wanted to claw the smirk off of Santana's face, but this conversation was nothing compared to some brutal ones they had had before.

"Actually, no. I've been quite busy with my studies and I've already been cast in one of the spring plays."

Santana chuckled. "I'm just busting your balls, Berry. That's great. Did you ever hear from Q after you were supposed to go see her?"

Rachel shook her head. "No, I ended up going to Yale anyway to see if anyone there knew anything. Her roommate said she actually dropped out a few months ago without saying where she was going or why."

Santana couldn't believe what she was hearing. She remembered sitting up late at night with Quinn when she'd stay over and they would talk about how they were tired of being Lima Losers and wanted to get out of that town. They were going to go to college, find jobs and be successful. They were going to show everyone that they weren't losers and they could make something of themselves no matter what.

"Well, we're in Lima. You think her parents know anything?"

"You mean, her estranged parents who kicked her out of her own home when they found out she was pregnant?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Okay, yeah, but I know she still talked to her mom once in a while. She might have heard from her."

"Maybe. Do you want to come with me tomorrow and we'll go to the Fabrays' house?"

"Spending the day with Rachel Berry sounds like an absolute blast. That's definitely how I wanted to spend my time."

"I'll pay for your lunch at Breadstix."

"I'm in."

The next morning, Rachel, Santana, Brittany drove to the Fabray estate to try to speak to Judy Fabray. They were hoping that Russell would be at work, because they really didn't need the awkwardness and passive aggressive comments. Russell had never really forgiven Quinn for getting pregnant in high school and soiling the Fabray name, but when Judy left him, he realized that he didn't function alone very well. Judy was his rock, so he swallowed his pride and begged her to come back. Judy's only condition was that he let Quinn come back to live with them and paid for her education. If he found out that Quinn dropped out, that was just another excuse for him to call his youngest daughter an ungrateful, worthless failure.

* * *

The next morning, they pulled up to the driveway in Hiram Berry's Prius. One by one they exited the vehicle and cautiously walked towards the house. Rachel had never actually been inside before; she picked Quinn up for carpooling to movies their summer before college started, but she was never invited in. Sometimes, Rachel could hear screaming before Quinn would storm out, obviously upset. She learned never to ask Quinn what was going on, because she would never want to talk about it.

The three girls walked up to the doorstep and let Brittany push the doorbell. She loved to hear all the different "bing-bongs" from different houses. They could hear the clicking of heels on the wooden floor of the house and Judy Fabray opened the door with the usual wine glass in her hand.

"Oh, my. Hello, girls! I haven't seen you in ages."

Santana bit her tongue, really wanting to say that they hadn't seen her since they kicked Quinn out of her own home when they had come by to help her pack up her things.

Rachel stepped into view and smiled her famous Rachel Berry smile. "We were just wondering if you had heard from Quinn. We were all in town for McKinley's graduation and noticed Quinn wasn't here. None of us have really heard from her in a while and were wondering if you had."

They looked for any signs of Judy looking suspicious or confused, but she was calm and collected as always.

"No, I haven't spoken to her in quite some time, probably before finals started. I just assumed she was busy with exams."

"Actually," Rachel responded, "None of us have heard from her in months. We're starting to get worried."

"There's nothing to worry about, girls. I'm sure Quinn's perfectly fine, just really busy with schoolwork. Things will be back to normal in no time once things settle down."

Rachel wasn't sure what was more disconcerting: the fact that Quinn had still been speaking to her mother and none of them, or that Judy didn't know that Quinn had dropped out of college and disappeared. They thanked Judy, and also thanked Russell for not being home, and left. Rachel dropped Santana and Brittany off and headed back to her dads' house, with no more answers than she started with.

* * *

Present

Brittany came by to check on Rachel every couple of hours to see if she needed anything and Santana would come by, saying she was there to see Brittany, but also making sure Rachel didn't die in the middle of the night.

"Santana, was I holding an envelope when I found you? Finn left it for me before he... before he..." Rachel choked back tears. Santana couldn't handle seeing girls cry, so she quickly walked to the table in Rachel's room and picked up the still sealed envelope.

"Yeah, here it is."

Rachel reached out and took the envelope. She nodded a 'thank you' to Santana who told her she'd give her some time alone, but she'd be down the hall if she needed anything. The envelope was weathered and looked like it had gone through the same hell Rachel did. She opened it slowly and removed the notepad paper. Rachel smiled at the random food stain on it. Mustering up as much courage as she could, she began reading Finn's letter.

_Dear Rachel,_

_First off, I just want to tell you how sorry I am for leaving you this way. I didn't know what else to do. I was becoming one of those things we had seen on the news. I wanted to do whatever I could to keep you safe and knowing that I would eventually become one of them, I had to do whatever I could to make sure that you were going to be okay._

_I know you're going to think that this was selfish and wrong, and I don't disagree with you, but your safety was the only thing on my mind. I didn't do this because I was scared of what I'd become. I did this, because I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I had ever hurt you._

_I love you so much. I know we haven't had the smoothest ride, but you were always the best thing that happened to me. You saved me from myself when we left Lima and I never thanked you for that. I know that breaking up with you was the wrong choice, but it was something that both you and I needed at the time. I didn't want to hold you back anymore and if you had stayed with me in Lima, we never would have gotten out. We needed to grow up. I knew that joining the army would at least give me some purpose and I had nothing left in Lima. Sure, I would have had Burt's car shop, but it wouldn't have meant anything if I didn't have you to share my life with. I take comfort knowing that you'll be okay without me, because you're one of the strongest people I know (other than The Incredible Hulk, but you're not green... or a dude)._

_Something else that I wanted to tell you, but never got a chance to, was that I hope you find Quinn. I know that she and I have had our differences, but I really think that your friendship with her is something that will get you through this. And, I can't believe I'm actually going to tell you this, but I know that you've been in love with her since high school and still are now. Coming to New York and seeing you made me sure of that. You may not have realized it back then (and you may not realize it even now), but I did. I may be dumb, but I'm not blind. I knew, but I was trying to convince myself that you were still in love with me and always would be. I know that you loved me when we were together, but I'm not quite sure that you were IN love with me, and that's okay. Honestly. I was okay with it, because I always loved you and I wanted to do everything I could to make you happy._

_Just promise me that you won't give up. Find Quinn, tell her how you feel, because life really is too short. I don't mean to make this a lame joke like I always do. I'm being serious. Go get her and don't let go. I love you, Rachel Berry, more than I could have ever shown you._

Finn's messy signature was at the bottom, which made Rachel shake her head. Finn didn't really need to say who it was from, but he did it out of habit. In all of the years she's known Finn, he had never been this eloquent. She read and re-read the letter, especially the part about Quinn, trying not to cry on the paper and make the ink run.

_I know you've been in love with her since high school and still are now._

Rachel shook her head in disbelief. Was she? No, there was _no way_ she could have romantic feelings for Quinn. That's preposterous. They were just friends. Rachel had been so preoccupied with just finding Quinn that she didn't think about why. She loved Finn in high school and chased after him like a lovesick puppy - proof of her feelings for Finn being that she was so elated when they got together. Rachel _did_ love him. She had to have. He must have been ill and not thinking straight. Rachel definitely loved Quinn, but it had always been platonic, as friends. Now Finn had her second-guessing their entire relationship. It would explain some things, but regardless if she was or wasn't in love with Quinn, Quinn wasn't there. And as much as Rachel hated to admit it, she wasn't sure if she would ever see her again.

Brittany and Santana peeked their heads into Rachel's room. It was lunchtime and Brittany was holding a tray with awful hospital food. They made sure it was vegan, of course. Rachel was sitting on the bed, holding Finn's letter tight.

"I need to find Quinn."

Santana resisted the urge to roll here eyes. "Again? Didn't we try this before?"

"Yes, but this time I actually want to find her. I'm going to look harder and I'm not stopping until I know where she is."

"Okay, Berry. Stalk much?"

Brittany placed a calming hand on her girlfriend's shoulder. "Aw, be nice. She's been through a lot. We have next week off anyway."

"Yeah, but we were supposed to spend that time together." Rachel never heard Santana whine before. It was a strange, to say the least.

"San," Brittany said with pouted lips. "Rachel needs us. We'll have plenty of time to spend together. Besides, you'll be able to use all of your military espionage training and stuff."

"Espionage," Rachel inquired with a raised eyebrow. "You're a spy?"

_Now_ Santana got to roll here eyes. "No, I'm not a spy. I'm the squad leader of a group who specializes in infiltration and staying undetected. It's not really secret spy stuff."

"That sounds perfect. With your resources, my intelligence, and Brittany's... way with words, we should be able to find her in no time. We just weren't fully prepared when we were in Lima." Rachel hopped out of bed, walked towards the bathroom and started to get dressed. "I must warn you, though," she called out from the bathroom, "I got a letter from Quinn, telling me to stop looking for her. She said that she was too busy for me and didn't want to see me. Then I was attacked by some zombie thing when I tried doing research and none other than Sue Sylvester saved my life."

Santana and Brittany looked at each other and shrugged. Santana looped her finger next to her head in a "she's crazy" motion and Brittany giggled as she picked at Rachel's lunch.

"Look, Rachel, we can help, but there's not a whole lot we can do. Where are we going to even start looking? It's been five years since we spoke to her mom and she could be anywhere."

Rachel's head shot out the door. "Don't worry, I have a plan." Then she disappeared back into the bathroom.

"This is so exciting," Brittany said while bouncing up and down on the bed. "It's going to be an adventure!"

The girls took Rachel to grab some things at her apartment. They talked about how Santana and Brittany ended up in New York. Santana told Rachel about the military base on Staten Island that she was transferred to after training in California, and how Brittany had gotten into the military nursing program surprisingly easily. Once The Infection hit New York, they immediately asked for a transfer. They followed the action and Santana was given a team to lead. She was one of the youngest squad leaders, but she commanded respect. Most of the other soldiers knew not to cross Santana Lopez and whoever did learned pretty quickly to never do it again.

Rachel ran up to her apartment to gather her notebook and loose sheets of paper. When she ran back to the car, papers were sticking out everywhere and Brittany wondered what book threw up on Rachel.

"These are all of my notes that I've taken in the past couple of years. I've mapped out the origination of this so-called infection and how it spread. I've placed markers where all of the military bases and medical buildings are in the United States and I also have notes on the infected themselves - symptoms, test treatments, and how it's transmitted."

Brittany's eyes opened wide. Rachel was studying when she wasn't even in school anymore. This made no sense.

Santana looked at Rachel through the rear view mirror. "Once a nerd, always a nerd, I guess. Where should we look first?"

Rachel sifted through her papers. "Well, I've narrowed down our search to three places. We could go back to Yale and ask more people who knew Quinn, the main medical center in Palo Alto, CA, where The Looking Glass Corporation is supposedly working on a cure – they might have a database of patients and Brittany can use her nursing expertise to get in, or use Santana's connections and get into Fort Bragg, NC. They probably have a lot of information hidden away.

Santana smirked and looked at Brittany. Brittany's eyes lit up and she immediately knew where they were going. "Guess we're heading back to California. Map out our route, Berry."


	6. End of Junior Year

End of Junior Year

With The Infestation still being talked about all over the news and spreading worldwide, many people had dropped out of school to join the military or other occupations that would benefit themselves. Finn quit his internship and began working at a military-based factory that manufactured tools and items that were used in hospitals. It was a tedious and tiring job, but it was work and Finn felt he was helping the cause.

His job administered complimentary flu shots as well as cold medicine for all employees. They wanted to make sure every employee was able to work year-round with few breaks in between in order to ensure that the products were made efficiently.

He noted that people giving out the flu shots were wearing matching uniforms with a heart and crown design on the back with a vague quote on the front of the shirt. He didn't think much of it and just chatted casually with the nurse. She looked nice enough. He attempted to get her number, but she said she was only in town for a few days while they gave the flu shots. She placed a white rabbit bandage on his arm after giving him the flu shot and sent him on his way.

When he got home, Finn complained about having a headache and aching muscles, so he made himself a tea and lay down on the couch. As Finn drifted to sleep, he began dreaming of the ocean and walking along coast.

_Finn felt the cool air on his face and the cool water on his feet as he meandered down the coastline. He came upon a walrus, a carpenter, and a flock of oysters following behind. The oysters were complaining that they needed to rest, so they stopped and sat near a large rock. To Finn's horror, the carpenter and Walrus grew gigantic teeth and began devouring all of the oysters. The oysters cried out and begged for help. Finn didn't know what to do, so he inched forward slowly._

_The walrus looked up with eyes filled with intensity and hunger._

_"Look what we have here," he said. "Someone wants to eat our oysters."_

_"What? No," Finn said shaking his head. "I hate oysters. They feel like phlegm going down my throat. You can have them all."_

_The carpenter looked in Finn's direction and took the hammer from his belt. "We didn't mean to eat all of them. We just couldn't help ourselves."_

_"We're just so hungry," the walrus added as he started maneuvering towards Finn. Finn was starting to get scared and turned to run, but he couldn't move. His feet had started sinking into the sand._

_"Look at him struggle. He doesn't even understand what's happening," the walrus said as he circled around Finn._

_"Indeed. He's stuck with nowhere to run. I can see his blood boiling, because he feels so helpless. Look at his eyes – they're bloodshot like he wants to weep!" The carpenter started tapping Finn's body with the hammer. Finn tried not to flinch, but he was feeling himself lose control of his body. He could feel a hunger building up inside of him._

_Finn looked at his hands as they started shaking. Adrenaline was pumping in his veins and he could feel his head pounding and his brow sweating. His brain felt like it was on fire. Before he knew it, Finn was grabbing the carpenter by the collar, insanity in his eyes, and took a big bite out of the carpenter's neck. Muscles were snapping and blood was spilling out onto their clothing and on the floor._

_The carpenter went limp and Finn dropped him and looked at the walrus. The walrus' eyes widened and he turned to run, but his flippers could not carry him faster than a 6'3" man. Finn jumped on top of the walrus and just as he was about to take a bite out of the animal, he woke up._

"Whoa, what the hell?" He looked around for any signs of crustaceans in his room, there was nothing there. With sweat was dripping down his brow, so he walked to the bathroom and splashed water on his face. When he walked out, he heard Skype beeping at him from his computer. He walked over and answered the call. Rachel's bright face filled his screen and she gave him a big smile as she waved to him.

"I got your message that said you weren't feeling well. Are you feeling better now?"

"Um, kind of, but I had the weirdest dream. There was this guy with a hammer and a walrus who were going to eat me, but I turned into some kind of monster and killed them first."

Rachel blinked at Finn. He must have a fever. "That's really odd. I wonder if there's a dream interpretation for that. Maybe it means you have a big decision to make or some other equally vague explanation." They sat and talked about their days and other things they had planned. Rachel wanted to go back to Lima to see her family, so she was going to drive over during one of their breaks since planes were grounded.

She asked Finn if he wanted to go with her, but he declined, saying that he wouldn't get any annual leave for another few months.

While Rachel and Finn were talking, she received another strange text from the unknown sender. She had been getting them sporadically, but didn't want to tell Finn and have him freak out and feel helpless. Today's text said:

**Be sure to watch the news at 10 tonight. We'll be in touch.**

If Rachel Berry was great at anything (besides singing), she was great at acting and internalizing her confusion. That talent was definitely beneficial when she had to perform and she was definitely performing for Finn. He was already stressed out about everything that was happening and adding the stress from the text messages would have made him go crazy.

Rachel had secretly been researching everything that she could on The Infestation and Quinn. She felt that the two were connected somehow. While they were freshman, she discovered that The Looking Glass Corporation were administering flu shots for free all around the United States and people who received these shots were showing strange symptoms that they shouldn't have. She didn't want anyone to get hurt just because she was being nosey, so she had stopped after getting the first few messages, but after seeing news stories all over the media, she couldn't resist.

The two of them had discussed Finn moving to New York more and more often as the year went on and they finally decided to go along with it once Rachel told Finn about mysterious text messages. Even though they were no longer together, he still wanted to protect her. To keep things uncomplicated, he said he would sleep on Rachel's couch until he found a place of his own. Rachel refused to allow things to get weird between them. She had plenty of time to get over Finn, and she had, so they were just living together and in a completely platonic friendship.

* * *

When Finn arrived at Grand Central Station, Rachel was waiting for him. Finn was wearing his military uniform and he looked quite toned, much more fit than he was in high school even though he played football. He had grown into his body very nicely. They took a taxi back to Rachel's apartment and sat in awkward silence. Now that they were together, breathing the same stale taxi air, they didn't know what to say to each other. On one hand, Finn was excited because this would be a new chapter in his and Rachel's lives, but on the other hand, he didn't want to confuse things with her.

As they pulled up in front of Rachel's apartment, Finn walked to the rear of the car to get his luggage and Rachel unlocked the front door. They walked up to Rachel's door and walked into the small one-bedroom apartment. He placed his suitcase and bags on the floor and looked around. The apartment was tiny, but it was definitely Rachel-sized. He sat down on what would become his bed and watched Rachel pace around nervously. He knew that she was trying to busy herself so that she didn't feel awkward around him.

He stood up and stopped Rachel before she made holes in her floor.

"Hey, relax. It's just me."

"I know. It's just – I don't know. I'm not sure how to do this."

Finn gave her a lopsided grin and shrugged his shoulders. "There's no pressure. We're friends, right? We know how to be friends."

"Yes, friends. I can do that."

He gave her a comforting squeeze on her arms and sat her down next to him on the couch. "So, how've you been? Things have gotten pretty crazy lately."

"Yes, they have. I'm still convinced that there's something suspicious going on here. Look at this." Rachel walks over to her desk and pulls out a fold with a stack of loose papers popping out at every direction. "I know I'm not supposed to be researching and snooping, but I couldn't help it. You know the Looking Glass Corporation?"

Finn nods.

"Well, eight years ago, they were sued for allegedly administering vaccines with contaminated syringes. They were eventually absolved of all charges due to lack of evidence."

She passed him all of her papers once she was done reading through them. Finn looked at all of the court case files closely. At the top corner was a logo that looked familiar.

"Wait, I've seen this before," he said pointing at the logo. "It was all over the place when I was getting my flu shot. The nurses had them on their shirts with some random quote on the back."

"It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place?"

"Yeah, how did you know that?"

"It's a quote from Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. Get it? Looking Glass Corporation? Through the Looking Glass?  It's all connected. I just need to figure out what it all means."

"That's the next book after Alice in Wonderland, right?"

"Wow, Finn, I'm surprised. I thought you only read _Maxim_ and _Sports Illustrated_."

Finn rolled his eyes. "I read them to my cousins when I went to visit them one summer."

"I'm just teasing," Rachel replied, playfully pushing Finn and letting her hand linger on his arm. She realized what she was doing and jerked her hand back and her face flushed. "Sorry, I uh, didn't mean anything..." her voice trailed off.

"It's okay," Finn said as he leaned in to kiss Rachel and she jerked her head away.

"I'm sorry, I can't."

"Oh, man, I'm sorry. I thought – wow, sorry. I feel like an asshole."

Rachel shook her head. So much for not making things awkward. "No, no. It's not your fault. I'm just – I'm just not sure what I feel anymore. I spent the past two years getting over you and accepting that our lives were following different paths and I convinced myself that I needed to move on. And I did."

Finn nodded slowly and smiled comfortingly. "It's all right. I was stupid to think you'd wait for me after all these years."

Rachel felt horrible. She had been so broken when Finn broke up with her in his car before hopping on the train to New York. After fighting for him for so long, he was letting her go. Just like that. She may have been naïve to think that he would have been able to follow her New York, but she thought that they could still work things out. Kurt and Blaine were going to do the long distance thing. Why couldn't they?

When she realized that he wasn't going to be a part of her life the way that she wanted him to be, she tried to force herself to move on. She kept herself as busy as she could with her job at the bookstore and speaking with Quinn whenever they weren't busy. Quinn was good at keeping her mind off of things. They talked about classes, Rachel's competition, Quinn's chemistry labs, visiting each other, so when Quinn disappeared and stopped logging onto Skype and answering her phone, Rachel lost that distraction. She lost her friend.

Attempting to cut through the awkward tension, Rachel walked over to one of the drawers in the kitchen and placed restaurant take-out menus on the counter. "Are you hungry?"

Extending his hands out in front of him, palms up, "Rach, come on, I'm always hungry."

"Come pick something. They're mostly vegan and vegetarian restaurants, but there are some omnivorous restaurants that can make their meals vegan-friendly, so just find what you want and we'll make a night of it."

Finn browsed through all of the menus until he found something that didn't sound like it was picked right outside of the restaurant in their garden. While they waited for their food, they talked about what they had been doing. Finn talked about working at the factory and his army training; Rachel talked about her job at the bookstore and classes. Then she found herself talking about Quinn once again, but Finn didn't mind. He was just happy to have Rachel's company.

That weekend, Blaine and Kurt were supposed to come visit, but they had to cancel last minute because Blaine wasn't feeling well. They were disappointed that they couldn't make it, but they rescheduled the trip for the next weekend.

By the end of the night, Rachel and Finn were laughing at talking on the couch. Rachel had her glass of wine and Finn had his beer. They were reminiscing about high school and sharing stories.

"Remember when Puck wore that dress and that awful wig to class?"

"Yeah! Oh my gosh, he was the ugliest woman I had ever seen."

Finn nodded in agreement. "If you could go back, would you change anything?"

"I don't know," Rachel traced her finger along the rim of her glass while she thought about it. "I guess I would have tried harder to be people's friend. Quinn and I were only really friends at the end of senior year and it feels like such a waste. I mean, I did try, but I could have tried harder. I also would have never cheated on you with Puck. That was really stupid of me. We could have been together longer without that rift in between."

Finn stared at his beer and nodded. "Yeah, a lot of chairs could have been spared that year."

Rachel smiled, remembering all of the times Finn kicked random chairs in the high school. "How about you? What would you have done differently?"

"I don't know, I probably wouldn't have worried so much about being popular. I would have just done things to have fun and enjoy myself."

"What about Quinn? Would you have done everything with her the same way?"

"No, I don't think so. Once I found out that she cheated on me with Puck and lied to me about Beth, I don't know if I would take her back now. Back then, I was stupid and co-dependent. I mean, I wouldn't have abandoned her, but I don't think I would have taken her back and probably would have let Puck have her," Finn reminisced. "And I certainly wouldn't have tried to steal her from Sam. That was a dick move."

"Were you ever in love with her?"

Finn furrowed his brow, clearly thinking way too hard about how to answer that question. "I honestly don't know. I'd like to think so. I know I cared about her, but I'm not sure if it was because I thought she was pregnant with my child or just because she was the head cheerleader. I mean, she was really manipulative and not a nice person at all and I'm pretty sure she was just using me for most of our relationship, anyway."

Rachel felt sorry for Finn; he wasn't the best boyfriend, but he didn't deserve to be treated like he didn't matter. She looked up at him and smiled. "Well, for what it's worth, I loved you when we were together. And Quinn wasn't that bad near the end of our senior year, after she got all of her crazy out of her system."

Finn chuckled and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I guess. Once she found out she was getting out of Lima, she did a complete 360."

"It's 180, Finn, and I agree. I think she grew a lot her senior year. She's like a completely different person since leaving Lima."

The two of them finished their drinks and stared at the television, not quite sure where to take the conversation next. Rachel excused herself and walked into her room. Somehow, she and Finn always ended up talking about Quinn in one way or another. Kurt told her that people usually find excuses to talk about someone they like whenever they can, but Quinn was just her friend, and she was allowed to talk about her friends. She just wished she knew where Quinn was. There were so many things that she was missing and just hoped that wherever she was that she was happy and safe.

Remembering what her text said earlier, she turned on the small TV in her room to the local news. There had been another zombie attack in the city; a former cheerleading coach vigilante was running around New York, killing infected people who had become violent and uncontrollable. A shaky handheld camera had caught footage of the woman blurrily waving around a weapon until she was overrun by a horde of zombies that appeared to swallow her with waves upon waves of bodies. Rachel covered her mouth and gasped. That person looked an awful lot like Coach Sylvester, and just as the zombies piled on top of each other, there was an explosion and decayed body parts flew all over the street. It was incredibly graphic to show on television, but a different time and the media had become very lax on censorship.

After the news broadcast, Rachel felt her phone vibrate and she picked it up, expecting it to be Finn asking if he could raid her refrigerator, but it wasn't.

**We hope you liked the broadcast. That's what happens when you don't listen. We will find you if you keep sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.**

Rachel was thinking that these ominous text messages were getting really old, but she was still concerned and now she had Finn to think about since he was staying with her; she couldn't be as careless as she had been, but it didn't mean she was going to stop trying to find out what happened to Quinn. In fact, this just made Rachel want to find her more, because wherever she was, she could be in trouble. If Rachel's searching was going to get her killed, or worse: getting turned into a mindless zombie, so be it. The more she thought about it, the more Rachel thought that Kurt might be right. She was even finding excuses to _think_ about Quinn now and it was all getting too confusing for Rachel, so she did her best to ignore it. Never in her life had she ever felt this alone and it was eating her alive.


	7. Chicago

Present

On their way to California, the three girls mapped out their route. Before they started, Santana and Brittany needed to get some supplies - Santana brought her weapons arsenal and Brittany brought some medical supplies and made sure their neighbor could take care of Lord Tubbington while she was gone. She had typed out a nine-page information booklet of all of his likes and dislikes and instructions like he was only allowed one cigarette after dinner, because he's supposed to be quitting.

Rachel also planned out their itineraries as she always did. They would stop in Lima and stay in her fathers' house. She hadn't sold it yet; she couldn't bring herself to sell her childhood home and the only tie left that she had to her fathers. Then they would stop in Chicago and check out the medical center stay overnight in the midwest somewhere, and continue on to California. With three separate drivers, they would make it in no time.

As they crossed the New York State line into Pennsylvania, Rachel and Brittany were playing car games in the front of the car. Santana was in the back with her noise cancellation earbuds in her ears, trying to drown out the "slug bugs" and "I spy's" coming from the other girls.

"I spy with my little eye... something black."

"Santana's hair."

"How did you know?" Brittany asked exasperated.

"Because the last two you did were Santana's eyes and her t-shirt. Plus, you look directly at her when you're trying to find something to guess."

"Oh. I think I'm done playing now. Are we there yet?"

Santana sighed and took the earbuds out of her ears. "No, baby. We're on our way to Illinois."

Brittany rolled her eyes up, deep in thought. "Illinois. Isn't that the place with all the potatoes?"

"No, Britt, that's Idaho. Illinois is where the Oprah and Chicago Bears are and we're going to go to the big medical center there."

"Oprah has bears? Can we go see them?"

Everyone groaned and Rachel kept driving. They passed through various cities until they arrived at their destination. Rachel pulled up to the University of Chicago Medical Center and the girls exited the vehicle that they had been spending way too much time in. Santana walked ahead of the other two.

"Okay, let me handle this. I know enough military jargon to confuse them into letting us in."

They walk into the medical centre and Santana strolls up to the reception desk.

"Hi," she smiles, almost flirting with the middle-aged receptionist. "I'm Lieutenant Lopez. I have clearance to enter the premises to examine your patients. I have a military nurse here with me." She motions towards Brittany, who bounce up and waves at the receptionist.

"Who's she?" The receptionist points her pen at Rachel.

"Oh, her? She's my personal assistant. All of us military officers get one. You know, to fetch us coffees or sniper rifles."

"Uh-huh," the receptionist looked suspicious, but she had no clue about military protocol. "Well, sign in."

All of the girls signed the book and let themselves into the medical center. The receptionist turned it to read the names off. She couldn't put her finger on it, but Fanny Brice, Nicki Minaj, and Celine Winehouse Esquire sounded familiar.

Once the girls entered the hospital ward, they peeked into the rooms on each side of the hallway. They usually had one or two people in them – some looked invalid, but others were up and about. When they turned down a hallway, a doctor and a nurse were just coming out of a room with the nurse looking especially morose. The doctor locked the door behind him and walked down the hallway. The girls didn't make eye contact as they passed them and Rachel looked into the room that the doctor and nurse had just come out of. A man was strapped to one of the hospital beds and looked sedated.

"Let's go inside. Can you break in, Santana?"

"Are you insane, Berry? That guy is strapped to the bed for a reason. He could be dangerous."

"Yes, but he is sedated. He probably won't even know we're there. I thought you were a big, bad, military officer."

"I am, but it doesn't mean I want to go and get myself killed or infected with some mystery disease."

"Do you want to know what's going on or not?"

Santana rolled her eyes and picked the lock with ease. They walked into the room and inched their way closer to the bed. Rachel picked up his medical chart and handed it to Brittany. "What's wrong with him?"

Brittany read through the chart and furrowed her brow. "It says he has multiple organ failures and has had a temperature of 108 degrees for the past two weeks. He should be brain dead, but why would they need to strap him down?"

"Something isn't right here." Rachel looked up at the television, which was switched to a news station that covered The Infestation 24-hours a day, which was odd considering the man was unconscious.

"Wait, look at this," Brittany handed the medical chart to Rachel and pointed at the doctor's signature at the bottom. It was scribbled as most doctors' handwriting was, but it looked a lot like "Quinn Fabray".

"Something definitely isn't right here," Santana echoed. "Let's get out of here."

They left the room and started heading down the hallway that they had come out of and saw some rather large security guards walking towards them. They turned around and walked the other way, trying not to look too obvious in case the men weren't looking for them. As they turned a corner, Brittany was looking in all of the rooms and noticed that all of the patients so far were male and they were all strapped to their beds. When she walked past a secluded room at the end of the hallway, she looked through the window in the door and recognized a familiar mohawk.

"Hey, guys? Look."

Rachel and Santana stopped and looked in the window.

"What. The. Fuck." Santana tried the door handle and it was unlocked. She stormed in and tried shaking the patient awake.

"Puckerman! Wake up!"

"Santana, stop it," Brittany held her girlfriend back while Rachel checked his medical chart. It really was Noah Puckerman.

"I can't believe this. We thought he was dead and he's been lounging around in a hospital this whole time. I'm about to go all U.S. Armed Forces on this asshole."

Rachel leaned her head in closely to Puck's and whispered, "Noah, can you hear me?" Puck stirred a little and slowly opened his eyes. He too was strapped to the bed, so he couldn't rub the blurriness from his vision. His eyes were red and he looked skinnier than Rachel had ever seen him.

"R-Rachel? Is that you? Am I dreaming again?"

"Hello, Noah. I think Santana and Brittany have some questions for you."

"Yeah, like why the fuck did you make us think you were dead when you've been here the entire fucking time?"

"San, calm down," Brittany said, placing a calming hand on her girlfriend's shoulder. "I'm sure he has a perfectly good reason to disappear on us with no goodbye and no letters. I mean, it's not like he can write or call with his arms strapped to the side of a bed."

"When did you get so perceptive?"

"It must be because I bought all of those purses in New York when we moved. I have magic purses. Like Mary Poppins."

"Yes, you do, baby. Now Puck, what are you doing here? How could you let us think you were dead all this time?"

Puck sighed deeply. "Look, I'm strapped to a bed. I don't exactly have a whole lot of freedom."

Santana sat on the foot of the bed. "Yeah, but it's been nearly four years, Puck. Where were you before you were brought here?"

"It's a really, really long story. The doctors will be making their rounds soon and they don't like visitors. I'm not even going to ask how you guys got in here."

"We could take you with us," Rachel said boldly, not exactly sure how they would sneak a patient, who could barely walk, out of a medical center that was crawling with military personnel.

"How do you expect to do that? I might look a little suspicious in my assless gown."

Brittany perked up. "I have an idea."

"Does it involve unicorns and sprinkles?" asked Santana. She loved her girlfriend, but when it came to her ideas, they were slightly unconventional, to say the least.

"Nope, but it does require some seduction," Brittany replied with a wink. She whispered her plan to her three friends and Rachel just shook her head.

Brittany set her plan in motion and waited for one of the security patrols to come around. She hiked up her nurse's skirt and walked up to the unsuspecting man. Whispering something into his ear, he smiled widely at Brittany and followed her to one of the stock rooms. She walked to the middle of the room and the door closed behind them. Santana walked out towards them and the man looked surprised, but visibly turned on.

"Oh, a threesome? Naughty girls."

"You have no idea," Santana said as she nodded to Brittany, who cracked the guy over the head with a fire extinguisher. They proceeded to strip him of his uniform and cuffed him to one of the cabinets in the room with his own handcuffs. When they were done, they raced back to Puck's room and helped him into the officer's uniform. It was probably two sizes too big, but it was better than nothing. Rachel stole a pair of sunglasses from the nurses' changing room and placed them on Puck's face. He looked like a giant bee, but they covered his bloodshot eyes.

He leaned on Santana for support while they escorted him down the long corridor towards the lobby. Their collective hearts were beating out of their chests, but they had to believe they could get out of there together. Rachel was definitely tired of losing everyone she knew, so getting one of those people back was more important than winning a Tony Award, even though they hadn't held an awards ceremony in years, but the idea of getting such an award was still in the back of her mind.

As they approached the lobby, they held their breaths and walked past slowly.

"Excuse me," a voice rang out from behind them. It was the receptionist. Rachel winced and turned around.

"Yes?"

"Everyone needs to sign out, even G.I. Joe."

Rachel put on her best fake smile. "Of course. The four of them walked towards the desk and Rachel signed herself out. She could see the receptionist staring at them like she was trying to piece together a puzzle.

"You look really familiar," she pointed her pen in Puck's direction.

"Oh, uh, I get that a lot. People say I look like a young Orlando Bloom. My goodness, you could be my Miranda Kerr."

The receptionist blushed and waved Puck off. "Oh, you. Get out of here before you get me in trouble."

Puck lifted his sunglasses and gave her a wink and turned around, shuffling out the door with the girls. When they stepped foot outside, they all let out a big sigh of relief. Puck breathed in an extra couple of breaths. He hadn't been allowed outside in months.

They started walking towards their rental car when they heard shouts behind them. Rachel looked back and saw a doctor running alongside a couple of security guards. One of the security guards was only in boxers and an undershirt.

"Uh-oh, guess the doctors did their rounds. Run!"

They all started running towards the car. Puck was lagging behind a little, so they all shouted at him to haul ass. He jumped into the backseat and Rachel peeled out, leaving the doctor and the security guards in the dust.

After their hearts stopped racing, Santana looked over at Puck, punch him the arm, and glared.

"Ow! I'm a sick man, you know."

"Soon to be a dead man if you don't explain what happened to you."

Puck took a deep breath and started explaining what happened to him, starting with the shooting at the general store.

* * *

Four Years Ago

When Puck was taken away on the ambulance, they had done what they could to stop the bleeding. He was most likely going to need blood transfusions. The ambulance drove off to a secluded building where a helicopter was waiting. The paramedics wheeled him onto the helicopter, strapped to the gurney and as it lifted off. Puck was going in and out of consciousness, but he remembered hearing the swooshing of the helicopter blades and overheard the paramedics say that they were taking him to Palo Alto. After realizing that he was awake, they inject him with a mild sedative to cause him to drift back to sleep.

When he woke up, he was in a hospital bed, bandaged up and sore. He didn't know where he was of what day it was. When he tried to sit up, Puck realized that his hands were bound to the side bars of the bed. He jerked his wrists as if he'd be able to rip the bindings right off, but nothing happened. Minutes passed until he heard voices coming from the opposite side of his door. He was wondering whether or not he should pretend to be asleep and before he could decide, two people walked in.

"Ah, Mr...," the woman with glasses looked at his chart, "Puckerman. Glad to see you're awake."

"Where am I and why the hell am I strapped to the bed?"

"Just a precaution," the other balding man said calmly. "Don't worry, once we finish our tests, we will release you."

"A precaution for what? I'm not dangerous. _I_ was the one who got shot by that fanatic."

"We understand you are probably confused, and rightly so," the bald man replied. His calm demeanor was irritating. He was one of those guys who would make a horrible teacher. He'd lull his entire class to sleep with his monotonous and patronizing tone.

"At least tell me where I am and what day it is."

The woman with glasses answered this time. "You're in Palo Alto and it's August 13th. Once we finish our tests, you will either stay here or be moved to Chicago, depending on the results."

"Chicago? Why the hell would you move me to Chicago?"

"It will all be explained in due time, Mr. Puckerman. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have some work to do. Someone will be in to draw more blood in a few moments. Please make yourself comfortable."

Puck rolled his eyes. He was strapped to a bed in an unknown hospital, had a catheter jammed into a place that nothing should be jammed in, and lost a month of his life. More importantly, Santana and Brittany probably had no idea where he was. He tried pulling on his bindings once more in case he developed superhero-like strength in the past half hours, but he hadn't.

More minutes passed while Puck tried to think of a way to contact the girls, but a soft knock and the door opening interrupted his thinking. A slender woman holding a clipboard walked in and closed the door quietly.

"Hello, Puck. I see you've kept the mohawk."

Puck looked at the woman who was using his high school nickname and his mouth dropped open in disbelief.

"Quinn?"


	8. Present

Present

"Hold up, Puckerman," Santana said waving her hands in front of her in disbelief. "You saw Quinn?" Puck nodded. "Quinn Fabray?" Puck nodded again. "What the actual fuck? Did you know that Berry, Britt, and I have been looking for her since freshman year of college?"

"Well, technically, I've been looking for her since freshman year of college. You and Brittany have only been looking for her when I've come to your for help, which was only- "

"Oh, shut up, Rachel," Santana interrupted. "The point is, we've been looking for her and she just waltzes into Puck's hospital room like nothing's wrong and steals his blood for 'testing'," she says, wiggling air quotations with her fingers.

All Puck could do was shrug. He knew that the girls were looking for Quinn, but he was so out of it that he thought that he was hallucinating. He remembered overhearing nurses talk about her when they thought he was unconscious and they referred to her as the "White Queen", whatever that meant. Apparently, she had become a sort of spokesperson for Looking Glass Coalition and was doing some work with them, which is why she was in Palo Alto.

* * *

_The only thing Puck remembered about their exchange was that when Quinn drew his blood she slipped him a note, because she said the room was bugged. The note said that she was okay, but she's not allowed to communicate with anyone outside of the medical center and to tell Rachel to stop being stubborn or else more people will get hurt. She was approached by one of her professors and invited to work on a special project, so that explained why she dropped out of college, but it still didn't explain what was so appealing that made her drop out completely._

_When she was finished drawing blood, she lay a gentle hand on his shoulder and smiled sadly as if she wasn't telling him something. She told him he would be transferred to Chicago in the next week or so, but she'd try to come see him off. Puck gave her hand a squeeze and said it was nice to see her and told her to be safe and she left._

_He never saw her again before he was transferred to Chicago. The doctors said he was being moved because the medical center there had more resources, but he knew that was a lie. He wasn't allowed to go anywhere unattended, which was only one of the strange rules that were implemented. Each day, the patients were given an hour to spend in the hospital's library, so Puck usually spent that time looking at science magazines or checking out books._

_When Puck looked at that month's_ Science Digest _, he found an issue with Quinn's picture on the cover. The cover had an article on the Looking Glass Coalition that said that she had become the spokeswoman for the company and had been pushing their new infertility drug, as well as an improved flu shot, but now she was heading the research team who was supposed to be finding the cure for the recently infected people – all within the past two years. Now that he had this information, he wasn't really sure what to do with it. There were no computers with internet access and letters wouldn't get sent, and the only phones that were available were in the lobby near the receptionist or in the examination rooms._

_After discovering Quinn and the Looking Glass Coalition, Puck started asking questions, but no one would give him any answers. That's when the sedation began. In the mornings, nurses would enter Puck's room, administer sedatives and strap him to the bed. They told him he was a danger to himself and that it was for his own good. This had gone on for the next two weeks when Rachel, Santana, and Brittany found him and helped him escape._

* * *

"Well, I guess that settles it. We're definitely going to Palo Alto now. No changing our minds," Rachel mused.

"Good thing we already decided that when we left New York," Santana replied back sarcastically.

They decided to split up the driving evenly. It was going to take about a full day of driving, but they decided to stop midway in Colorado to rest up and prepare. They weren't sure what was going to be in store for them at the Looking Glass Coalition, or if Quinn would even still be there, but something needed to be done. Rachel was convinced that Quinn had been brainwashed into helping them, or they were threatening her family. She couldn't believe that Quinn would voluntarily drop out of college and move to California to work with a shady pharmaceutical company that's solely in charge of discovering the cure to the infection.

When they arrived in Colorado, they stopped in a small town off the main highway and checked into a small motel. The woman at the desk looked at the group of four skeptically.

"You folks ain't infected, are ye? I don't wanna get bit in the middle of the night."

The four of them looked at each other. Rachel responded, "Um, I don't think so. We all seem to be in prime condition. I, personally, have a strict workout regime that I adhere to each morning, so I think I would know if I were ill."

"Well, all right. Just be warned, I sleep with a shotgun." The woman handed them a key to their room. They only got one room with two beds, because they thought splitting up might be dangerous – not only because people could be looking for Puck, but also because these so-called Infected were wandering into towns and attacking people. Ever since Rachel had her first encounter in the library, she hadn't seen another infected person since, but she read stories from all over the world of sightings and incidents where people were mauled to death.

Santana and Brittany claimed one of the beds and Puck headed straight for the bathroom. He hadn't been able to bathe himself since he had been in the hospital. Nurses and doctors were always there to monitor him; it felt like prison. Rachel looked around the room and placed her bag on the opposite bed. She went back out to the car and brought back another duffel bag with her and placed it on the small table in the corner of the room. She opened it up and began laying out its contents on the floor.

Santana pulled her gaze away from her girlfriend's and looked over to see what Rachel was doing. "Berry, what are you doing with my bag?"

"I'm taking a stock count. If we expect to survive an impending attack via zombies or military personnel, we'll want to be prepared. We're taking a big risk by stopping overnight, you know."

"Right, but Britt wanted to stop and shower and actually sleep on a comfortable bed. What Britt wants, Britt gets. I'm sure if you had your flagpole-sized boyfriend complaining at you all day, you would – "Brittany interrupted Santana with a sharp elbow to the ribs and Santana realized what she had said and immediately started apologizing. "Oh, shit, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking."

Rachel shook her head and swiped a stray tear that threatened to unlock a stream of emotions that she wouldn't be able to dam back up. "It's okay, I think I'm still in shock. I haven't mourned since that night, so I'm fully expecting a full night of crying and comforting ice cream in the near future to cope with my loss." They sat in silence aside from the noise coming from the television. Rachel continued counting their ammunition and weapons while Brittany and Santana lay on the bed together.

When Puck finished showering, he dried himself off and wrapped a towel around his waist. He stared at himself in the mirror, but didn't recognize the reflection staring back at him. His eyes were sunken in, he was thin and his body was no longer as toned as it used to be.

He grabbed the shaver from his bag and plugged it in. Running his hand through his mohawk for the last time made him remember high school and how they all thought that their problems then were so much worse than anyone else's. Now look at them. They were on the run from the military and zombies, The Infection had spread across the world and Puck had no idea why he wasn't dead yet. While in the hospital, he would watch doctors run through the halls towards their most recently deceased body and would silently wait until it was his turn, but it never came. There was no reason why he should have been spared. He wasn't anything special. After nearly flunking out of high school, the only good thing that he could say that came out of his mistakes would be Beth and he didn't even know where she and Shelby were or if they were okay. He was a failure as a father and as a human being.

Resisting the urge to shatter the mirror into hundreds of pieces, he picked up the shaver once more and began ridding himself of his immaturity and all of the bad memories that each hair follicle represented. He would start anew and he would protect these girls with his life. It was the only thing that he could think of to do that would redeem himself.

When he had cleaned all of the hair of the sink, he put on some clean clothing that he had taken with him from the hospital and walked out of the bathroom.

"Took you long enough. Brittany almost had to pee outside in the garden."

"I've watched Lord Tubbington do it plenty of times. I should have been able to dig a small hole and do my business like he does."

Puck shook his head and smiled. "Sorry, I hadn't showered by myself in a month. I was, uh, manscaping."

"Gross," Santana said with a sneer. "Well, at least you finally got rid of that squirrel on your head."

Rachel jumped up and turned towards the rest of the group. She was holding a machete in her right hand, big grin on her face.

"Okay, everyone. I've divvied up the weapons, so everyone will have at least one firearm and one melee weapon. Puck, I've given you the biggest rifle and a wooden bat. I figured since, you know, boys like to overcompensate and you've played sports. Santana, you get the shotgun and the knife to stick in your boot. Brittany and I have pistols and a machete or axe, and there's extra ammunition and a couple of extra guns in the bag."

"Berry, have you even fired a gun before?" Santana inquired.

"Well, no, but I figure you could teach us sometime since you have all of your military training and all. This is all considering we have ample time to find a shooting range and - "

"Rachel, cool it. I'll teach you the basics, all right? We're in the middle of nowhere anyway. I'm sure we can just put some cans on a fence like they do on TV and practice for an hour or two before we get moving again."

"Excellent! I'm looking forward to our lesson. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll use the facilities next. I'll just grab my... hey!"

Brittany and Santana ran into the bathroom together and shut the door behind them. A distinct click of the lock came from the bathroom door. Rachel stood in the middle of the room and hung her head. Puck was lying on the bed, watching the entertainment enfold. He patted the side of the bed and Rachel hesitantly walked over and lay down next to him. They watched the TV for a few moments until Rachel broke the silence.

"Noah, if I sleep on the bed with you, I trust you not to get handsy in the middle of the night."

"Don't worry, I'm beat. I'll keep all of my appendages to myself."

They continued watching whatever ancient movie was showing on the TV for a while. Rachel opened her mouth multiple times to speak, but the words wouldn't come out. During one of the commercial breaks, Puck saved her the trouble.

"Quinn looked good... when I saw her. I mean, she looked okay - maybe a little tired, but okay."

"That's comforting. I haven't seen her since freshman year of college and then she just vanished without a word. I've been so worried."

"She told me something. Well, wrote it because my room was bugged. She said to tell you to stop looking for her, otherwise more people would get hurt and that she was fine. What did she mean by _more_ people?"

Rachel stared at the television for a minute, trying to think of what to say and how to say it. How was she going to tell him that she found her fathers in their home, lying together on their bed - lifeless? How was she going to tell Puck that his best friend killed himself? There wasn't going to be an easy way to explain what Quinn told him, but this really wasn't the time to sugar-coat anything. They were at war with their own government and military and the only people they could trust now were each other.

Rachel took a deep breath and turned her head towards Puck. HIs eyes held a sadness that no one their age should hold, but she didn't mention it. She knew how much he had been through and didn't think he'd be ready to talk about it.

"My fathers," she began, "I found them lying in their room. The Infection had already set in and this was before they developed any kind of treatment, so they just waited for it to take them. They waited together, holding each other. And I was the one who found them."

Puck rolled towards Rachel, leaned on his right arm, and placed his left hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said solemnly. "That must have been awful - to see them like that."

"It was, but it was also beautiful in a way, you know? They stayed together until the end. They loved each other that much. I've never felt that kind of love, not even with..." her voice trailed off, chest constricting at the thought of Finn. She did love him. She _did_. Rachel had to keep telling herself that she had been in love with Finn and wasn't just settling for him, because she was afraid of being alone.

"And Finn? What happened to him? Last he told me, he was moving back to New York and staying with you."

"Yeah, he did. He was living with me for a few months before he got sick."

"So... he's dead, too." Puck confirmed, as if he already knew the answer. His best friend was dead and he was stuck in a hospital and didn't get to say goodbye.

"Yes, h-he did it to protect me. He could feel something inside of him changing and didn't want to hurt me."

Rachel stood up and walked to her bag. She unzipped it and pulled out a worn envelope. As she walked back towards the bed, she sat down and handed Puck the envelope and he opened it. Holding the paper in front of him, he read each line carefully. His eyebrow rose at a certain part, most likely the part where Finn told Rachel that she was in love with Quinn and not him. When he finished reading the letter, he folded it back up and slid it back into the envelope. He turned his head towards Rachel and smiled warmly. Any other day, he probably would have made an inappropriate comment about having a threesome with her and Quinn when they reached California, but it obviously wasn't the right place or the right time.

"You and Quinn, huh?"

"Honestly, Noah, I don't even know myself. I hadn't really thought about her... that way, you know? She stopped talking to me right before spring break, so I didn't really have time to evaluate any feelings. I just wanted to find her."

"It makes a lot more sense if you think about it."

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Did you know that it was Quinn's idea to make you prom queen our senior year? She convinced Santana to rig the ballots like you rigged Kurt's when he ran for class president."

"S-she what? How could she do that? And how do you know?"

"Santana told me. Look, it wasn't meant to be malicious or a joke. Quinn won by one vote, but she didn't feel she deserved it. She wanted to make your prom night special."

The door of the bathroom opened and Santana and Brittany waltzed out of it, clearly after having hot shower sex.

"What are you hos talking about? I heard my name."

"We're talking about Quinn's high school lady boner for Rachel."

Rachel gasped and slapped Puck's chest and he keeled over in mock pain.

"Right, talking about prom? Oh, and didn't she buy you a train ticket to come visit, too? If that isn't blatantly obvious, I don't know what is. I mean, I even told her I wanted to move to New York, and I didn't get a free ticket. What's up with that shit?"

"Yeah, Rachel, it was pretty obvious," Brittany added.

Rachel furrowed her brow. A million thoughts were going through her head. How was it that everyone but her seemed to know how Quinn felt? Was she that obsessed with Finn? Too busy to notice? Granted, Finn had just broken up with her before she left for New York, so she wasn't in the best frame of mind, and before that, she had so much pressure with figuring out what she and Finn were going to do and had been stressing out about NYADA. Was that an excuse, though? Should she have paid more attention?

"But... but how do you guys know for sure? Did she tell any of you directly that she had feelings for me?"

Puck shrugged and shook his head. "No, she wouldn't have done that, because she knew you were in love with Finn and you had chosen him. She wasn't going to say it outright to anyone when she knew it would only complicate things."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"I guess you need to figure out how you feel about her."

"How the heck am I supposed to do that when I haven't seen her in four years? I'm sure we've both changed and she didn't even have the courtesy to tell me what was going on with her. She just left. And didn't she kiss you before graduation, Puck? If she was trying not to complicate things, I think she failed when she did that."

"H-how did you know that?"

"She told me during one of our Skype calls. She said she needed to figure some things out and when she kissed you, it made her realize she could let everything in Lima go and nothing was holding her back. You were heading to California with Santana and Brittany and she was going to be at Yale, and you guys could still meet up and visit Beth when you were back in Lima. That's what I don't understand. She's been gone for four years and hasn't even seen your daughter. It's not like her to ignore things like that."

"I'm just kind of surprised that she told you. I thought she'd be embarrassed about it."

"I'm not quite sure why she told me, either. I guess she felt like she needed to validate her actions to herself. I don't know."

The four of them sat silently until Brittany spoke up. "How did you feel when she told you she kissed Puck?"

Rachel thought for a moment. "I don't know, maybe a little jealous."

Santana quirked an eyebrow. "Jealous? Really? And why was that?"

"I-I don't know. It must have been the fact that she needed to kiss someone to fully understand that she didn't need them and that she could let go. She had been telling me not to drag anchors from my past into my future when she was thinking about doing the same thing with Puck."

"Whoa, whoa," Puck interrupted, "There's nothing wrong with wanting to stick with Puckasaurus. I mean, I am the father of her child, after all."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Okay, so you weren't jealous because she kissed Puck?"

"No, I don't think so." She paused and shook her head. "I don't know now. I'm all confused. It was a long time ago. I remember getting a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach when she called me on Skype and my heart raced whenever I thought about seeing her in New Haven. What does that mean?"

"It means that we're definitely going to find Quinn," Brittany said with a wink. "When I knew that Santana and I were going to spend the day exchanging lady kisses, my tummy would get all funny."

Santana nodded and Puck added, "Quinn's got this air about her that makes you want her attention. If you don't have it, you want it. If you have it, you never want her to leave. It's normal, Rachel."

"But the fact that I feel this way means... that I like her? Being drawn to Quinn might be normal for any male, but what about a female who has only dated guys? This is getting to be too much. Can we drop it, please?"

"Fine, but you're going to have to address it at some point. We're going to be in California in a day or two. Let's go to bed, B." Brittany and Santana climbed into their bed and shut off their lamp.

Rachel sighed. She knew Santana was right, but she didn't want to admit it then. She just wanted to get the four of them to California to get some answers. Her feelings and what they meant were going to be stuck on the backburner for now. Rachel crawled into bed next to Puck, who was still watching TV. She contemplated placing a pillow in between them, but she trusted Puck enough. It only took her a few minutes to fall asleep, but she knew it would probably be the last restful sleep she would get for a while.


	9. Freshman Year Yale

Freshman Year – Yale

The sound of the alarm clock came blaring in her ears, shaking her awake. It was the first day of classes. Mondays were her intro classes to chemistry and calculus. She was also taking an English class and intermediate music class to keep her sane. She walked into the shared bathroom and washed her face, brushed her teeth, and combed her hair. The cold, brisk morning air made her groan in discomfort. She rubbed the light scar on her hip and snaked her hand across her back – a daily reminder of her carelessness, but a tiny smile crept across her face, because she had postponed Rachel and Finn's wedding, which ended with Finn letting Rachel go to New York by herself.

It wasn't like she was trying to break them up; she just couldn't live with herself if she didn't try to show Rachel what she was capable of without being stifled and anchored down by her boyfriend. There was no way she would live out her dreams in Ohio, even if she had deferred her studies for a year and went to NYADA the year after. A lot could happen in a year.

She washed her face and applied a light coat of make-up before she got dressed in one of the bathroom stalls. Having a roommate was new to her, so she wasn't completely comfortable changing in front of her yet.

As she packed up her bag with notebooks and pens, her roommate stirred. She turned towards her and whispered, "Sorry," as she finished packing up. Nerves started setting in. What if her professors were mean? What if her classes were too hard? She walked to the building where her first class was being held. It was a five-storey red brick building with a large wooden door in the front of it. She walked up the stone steps and found her classroom. A seat near the back of the room was calling her name. The class was large with over 100 students, as was to be expected from an introductory science class on the first day. After the class was over, she went to chem lab, which was more intimate, with about 25 students.

The teacher's aide started roll call and checked off each name as he went down the list.

"Quinn Fabray."

"Here."

Check.

Their first lab was fairly casual, getting acquainted with all of the pipettes and flasks, as well as all of the chemicals they were going to be exposed to – and safety precautions, of course. This was exciting for Quinn; she loved mixing chemicals together in high school and finding all of the various properties of her new concoctions. Her teacher, Mr. March, told her that she'd make a great chemist and she ought to think about pursuing a medical profession. She wasn't quite sure what she wanted to be once she finished college, but she knew that she wanted it to involve science. Even though she loved reading and writing, she knew that her father wouldn't think that English was a "major for Fabrays", and since he was paying for her tuition, she basically had no other choice.

Her family was full of lawyers, businessmen, and doctors. If she had followed through with an English major, she would have been the laughing stock of her family. They didn't believe in the arts, so, naturally, didn't understand her interest in the glee club. Near the end of her senior year, her mother finally started to come around and attended their performances and showed some support, whereas her father was nowhere to be found. He always had late night meetings or business phone calls that just couldn't be interrupted, even for his own daughter.

She downright despised him. Often, she'd wonder how she could have been born from such a monster. It just made her that much more determined to succeed – not because she wanted to make her father proud, but because she wanted to show him that she could do it without screwing up. With her first two classes done, she was doing pretty well so far.

Her chemistry lab TA seemed take an interest in her and made little comments whenever their lab notebooks were handed back. Normally, things like, "You're way too smart to be in an introductory chem class" and "You don't even need me to instruct you; you can do everything before I even explain it" would make her blush, but she thought the guy was either just trying to hit on her, or he was just being encouraging. It was most likely the former and she found herself not at all interested.

As her first semester continued, Quinn was getting the hang of college. She went to all of her classes, did all of the reading assignments and homework, and even attended a few parties. She spoke to Rachel regularly and had planned on her coming to New Haven to visit. They planned everything out and Rachel made one of her famous to-do lists. Quinn said that she'd call to confirm everything and they left each other to start studying for their final exams.

After one particular lab where they were doing titrations of antacids, her TA pulled her aside after the class finished cleaning up. He had a concerned look on his face.

"Quinn, I'd like to speak to you about an opportunity that Professor Lewis has coming up. He told me to find my brightest and most focused students and you're the best of the best by a long shot. Would you be interested in discussing it over coffee?"

"Um, sure, I guess. I have a two-hour break now."

"Great, I'll see at the student union. I'll meet you there in a few minutes; I just need to finish up some things here."

Quinn nodded and walked out of the room. She really hoped this didn't open her up to future "coffee dates" with her TA whose name she barely remembered. It took her a few minutes to find an empty table, so she placed her bag on one of the chairs and sat in another. The only reason she accepted the invitation was because she thought that getting her professor to notice her was a good idea. If he knew who she was, maybe he'd remember her in future classes she might take with him. She sat for another ten minutes before she saw her TA walking towards her. What the hell was his name? Trevor? Tony? T-Pain?

"Hey, I'm really glad you agreed to meet with me. Professor Lewis should be here shortly, too. Did you want something to drink?"

"Just a water, please."

"Sure thing, I'll be right back."

Quinn watched what's-his-name walk towards the food bar and pick up some snacks and her water. An older man in his mid-fifties walked towards Quinn; it was Professor Lewis. His salt and pepper hair was covered in a worn brown fedora and he held his jacket over his left arm. He was holding a leather satchel in his right hand and sat down at Quinn's table.

"Hello, Quinn," he said confidently. He had a gleam in his eye that made Quinn slightly agitated.

"Professor Lewis," she nodded.

"Tyler told me that he chose you from his chem labs and I already knew who you were. I graded your lab reports myself."

_Tyler! That was his name._

"Isn't that something the TA's are supposed to do?"

Professor Lewis chuckled. "Usually, yes, but as he may have told you, there's a little project that I'm involved in. I'm looking for a brilliant group of students to help me out."

Quinn sat at the table and listened closely. Tyler walked back with their drinks and an armful of food. He sat down in between Professor Lewis and Quinn. Quinn graciously accepted her bottled water, twisted off the cap, and took a sip.

"So, professor, have you explained what your project is all about?"

"Not yet, my boy. I was waiting for you to get back." Professor Lewis patted Tyler on the shoulder and turned his attention back to Quinn. "Ms. Fabray, allow me to explain the offer we are extending your way. First off, you won't have to worry about your college tuition. Everything will be taken care of and your grades and studies will not be affected whatsoever. However, you will need to relocate to California in order to use the facilities we have there."

"Wait, you want me to _move_ to California? How will I be able to take the same classes and keep up?"

Professor Lewis smiled warmly. "Ms. Fabray, with this project, you will be learning far more than you would in a classroom full of 150 other students. The only catch is that it is a somewhat secretive project that we cannot share with the public just yet, so you will not be able to tell anyone you know. Your phone will be confiscated and you will be issued a phone by us that will be monitored, as will your e-mails."

That was where Quinn started to get suspicious. She wouldn't be able to tell her family and friends that she was moving to California and they expected her to be able to keep all of this a secret. Who were they kidding?

Tyler saw that she was getting hesitant, so he tried to comfort her. "Quinn, I know this all sounds daunting, but believe me, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. All travel, food, room and board will be covered; you won't need to pay for anything."

"Yes, but, you're basically telling me to lie to everyone that I know. My friend is supposed to come visit me during spring break; we have it all planned out. If I bail on her, she'll be devastated."

Professor Lewis looked at her and patted her hands. "Just... think about it, dear. You'll never have an offer like this again. One friend's visit shouldn't affect something that could change the rest of your life, and possibly the lives of others."

Quinn nodded and stood up slowly. "I'll think about it. Thank you, professor." She nodded at Tyler. "Tyler, see you in lab."

"You bet," he replied with a smile. "Don't forget your lab report on chromatography."

Quinn smiled back. "You know I won't."

The two men watched her walk away and the mood instantly changed. "Sir, are we going to have to use force?"

"No, not yet. She still has some time to change her mind. We'll give her the rest of the week. Make sure you keep her home address handy, just in case." Tyler nodded. "And find out whatever you can about this 'friend'. I feel that they're close, so perhaps we can use her."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Quinn didn't know what to do. On one hand, she was excited about the prospect of going to California and working on some top secret project, but on the other, she wasn't too sure about the situation. It was all a little too good to be true; and what about Rachel? She was supposed to visit Quinn and she didn't want to let her down.

Classes went on as per usual, Professor Lewis and Taylor acted like nothing was wrong and they hadn't just propositioned her with free food and lodging in California as long as she didn't tell anyone she was there. It was all too weird.

One night, after watching a film with her English class for an extra credit paper, she walked back to her dorm. On the way, she felt like someone was following her, but when she turned around, no one was there. When she turned back to continue walking, a giant dark figure popped up in front of her. As she turned around to run, another figure dashed in to block her escape. Quinn's heart started racing and panic glazed over her eyes. She didn't know what these men wanted. For all she knew, she was going to get beaten to a pulp and left there for dead... or worse. The man behind her put a strong arm around her neck and covered her mouth with a damp cloth. She felt herself drifting away and as she lost consciousness, she heard one of them say, "You should've just agreed to go."

When she woke up, Quinn found herself in a small cell with no windows and only a door with a small sliver of glass to look out of. An uncomfortable looking cot was pushed against one wall and a toilet and sink were on the other. It was almost like a prison cell, but completely white and sanitized. She was wearing a white t-shirt and white pants; her hair was down and she noticed a thin opening under the door - most likely where her food would go. She was in prison. A voice from a speaker startled her. She looked around the room to see where it was coming from. In the back corner of the room was a small speaker box and a camera.

"Hello, Ms. Fabray. We apologize for the meager lodgings. I know we said that we would take care of you if you agreed to come. Unfortunately, we hadn't heard from you since the meeting at Yale, so we had to take some initiative. We couldn't let you pass up on this opportunity."

Quinn stood up and stared straight into the camera. "Are you fucking serious? Kidnapping me was the next best option for you people? I have friends and family. I have a life. You can't just pick someone up and remove them from all of that."

The voice rang through the room. "We apologize, Ms. Fabray. We meant you no harm and did not want to upset you. However, to put it bluntly, we need you."

Quinn began pacing around the room. "What could I possibly have to offer that your whole team of scientists can't? I've only started college; I haven't even taken organic chemistry or biology or any upper division courses."

"Believe us, Ms. Fabray, we have taken all of that into account. Professor Lewis and his assistant saw something in you and believe that you will be an asset to our cause. We will provide the necessary training. All you need to do is absorb and learn."

All Quinn could do was shake her head. She sat on her cot and thought about her mom and her dad. If they found out she was not longer at Yale, her father would be so disappointed in her. Even if she was curing cancer, he'd be disappointed that she didn't get her college degree first. Her mother would be disappointed that she didn't call first.

And Rachel...

Rachel would definitely be upset if Quinn disappeared. Wouldn't she? She had abandonment issues ever since she found out that Shelby was her mother and there was no way to rekindle the mother-daughter relationship. Finn breaking up with her before she left for NYADA didn't help, either, so Quinn called and spoke to Rachel as often as she could, because she knew that if she didn't, Rachel's loneliness would swallow her whole and all of her hard work and tears would have been for nothing.

But what would happen if Quinn never came back? Would Rachel forget about her eventually?

Of course she would.

It's not like they had been best friends long. It wouldn't be long before Rachel found her own group of friends and forgot about her. It was probably for the best. She probably would have left in the end anyway.

Quinn was a horrible liar, even to herself.

Time passed, although Quinn didn't know how much. She could hear wheels rolling on the linoleum outside and it stopped outside of her door. Nimble fingers pushed a food tray under the door. A plastic cup rolled in after it. She assumed she was supposed to fill it with tap water. The food didn't look terrible, but out of sheer stubbornness, she left it sitting where her captors left it. She continued to ignore the food offered to her for the next two days.

Whenever she lay down, she could hear the mechanical whirring of the camera. She ripped part of her sheet and covered the eye of the camera, finally getting some semblance of privacy. Doctors would come in to try and examine her, but whenever they entered her room, she would resist, kick, and bite. Finally, large men in black clothing that resembled black police uniforms came in with long retractable nightsticks. One of them hammered the stick over her temple and Quinn fell to the floor. She could feel the blood trickling down the side of her face. Another woman in a white coat stepped forward and knelt down.

"Are you quite finished with your little tantrum, Ms. Fabray?"

Quinn looked up at the woman. She had dark hair and was wearing glasses. She looked to be in her late-30s. Quinn's mind was going crazy and her head was pounding. The nightstick-wielding men held her up and the coated woman held Quinn's jaw with her right hand and looked into her eyes. The woman started to laugh and stood.

"I like you. You've got a fire in your eyes and I look forward to extinguishing it. Take her to the examining room."

The men lifted her up and dragged her out of her cell down the hallway. They stopped in front of a room with a long table and strange instruments next to it. Quinn was lain across it and strapped down. She was left there alone for what felt like hours until a petite nurse walked in with a tray. The nurse couldn't have been much older than Quinn and Quinn wondered if she had been plucked away from her life the same way.

"They get you, too?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Pardon?" the nurse questioned her. "Did who get me?"

"These people - the men in the ridiculous lab coats and guys on steroids. Did they kidnap you, too?"

"Hey, keep it down. The quicker you assimilate and stop acting out, the quicker they'll put you to work and forget about you."

"So they did. They took you away from your life, from your friends and family, from... everything. What's your name?"

"Hayley," the nurse replied meekly. She fiddled with some of the tools on the tray that she brought in. They looked pretty menacing.

"Nice to meet you," Quinn said sincerely. "What are you here for? Did they tell you to give me a lobotomy?"

Hayley snickered under her breath. "No, I'm just drawing some blood and making sure you're not too malnourished. You really should eat something."

Quinn scoffed. "Not happening. If they think they can keep me here and control when I eat, sleep, and move, they've got another thing coming."

"Look, I can help you, but I can't do it if you're dead. I'll loosen your restraints if you promise not to strangle me to death."

Quinn smirked cheekily. "I'll try to resist." This Hayley girl seemed nice enough, but Quinn knew better than to trust her. She might as well play nice and at least act like she did. "How long have you been here?"

"Almost a year, I think. I lost count a while ago." Hayley prepped Quinn's arm for the blood drawing. "Hold still, you might feel a little prick."

"Oh, believe me, I'm way past little pricks." Quinn was confused by her flirting. What was she doing? When she heard Hayley laugh, she felt slightly more comfortable, but still not quite sure why she said what she did. Hayley finished drawing blood and placed a cotton ball on Quinn's vein and told her to apply light pressure. She said she'd be back in a couple of minutes and left the room. Quinn looked around. Hayley had loosened her restraints, but not enough to allow her to remove them completely. When she came back into the room, Hayley had brought in a tray of food and placed it on a table next to Quinn. She released Quinn's right arm from her restraint and turned the chair towards the food.

"As your nurse, I'm obligated to make sure you take care of yourself, so eat."

"And if I don't?" Quinn responded, raising an eyebrow.

"I'll have to call in a couple of large steroid-induced men to hold you down while I feed you."

Quinn sighed and picked up the plastic spork that was supplied. She picked at the questionable meat product then moved onto the vegetables. Hayley watched with interest. It had been a while since they had someone around her age there. Most of the people they brought in were older, sometimes sickly, sometimes not. It was her job to make sure they were comfortable and, like any normal nurse, she found herself getting attached to her patients. She noticed that a lot of the people she was caring for were disappearing, but she assumed it was old age. No one told her why these people were being brought there, only that she had been brought here to take care of them. It had been a little over a year since Hayley had been removed from her dorm room one night, blindfolded and gagged, and thrown into a van.

"Have you talked to your family and friends since you've been here?" Quinn asked while she scooped up some fruit with her spork.

Hayley smiled solemnly and shook her head. "No, I haven't. They probably think I'm dead by now."

Quinn couldn't imagine what her friends and family would think. Would her parents give up on her, too? Would Puck and Shelby? Would Rachel? The thoughts flooded through her mind and her body betrayed her as tears fell down her cheeks. Hayley placed a comforting hand on hers.

"Hey, don't worry. Just do what they want you to and we'll find a way out of here, okay? But you'll have to trust me."

"Sorry, I'm usually not a crier," Quinn said as she wiped her eyes with her shirt. "I guess I just have to believe I'll get out someday, otherwise I'll lose it."

"Exactly," Hayley said with a huge grin. "And, hey, we're friends now, so we'll help each other through this." Quinn smiled back, thankful that she had a friend in this place. She didn't trust Hayley completely, but it was a start. If anything, at least she knew someone else was going through the same thing and she wasn't totally alone.

From that day forward, Quinn did what she was asked, she ate when food was given to her, and obeyed all of the commands barked at her from the rent-a-cops. Eventually, she was let out of her cell and given a private room, new clothing, and more freedom to roam around the building. Hayley was right; the more Quinn complied, the more lenient her captors were.

One day, Quinn was walking down a hallway and Hayley pulled her into a room.

"Who's Rachel?"

"What?" Quinn gave Hayley a bewildered look.

"Rachel. Who is she?"

"She's a friend from high school. Why?"

Hayley whispered quietly. "She's gotten herself into a whole mess of trouble. If she's not careful, they're going to have to take care of her, if you know what I mean."

"What do you mean? What is she doing?"

"Well, from what I've overheard, she's asking too many questions. Apparently, she's been looking for you."

Quinn felt nauseous. She needed to warn Rachel somehow, but she didn't know how. "I have to help her."

"I've got contacts who owe me some favors. Write out what you want to say and I'll give it to one of the guys to deliver."

"You'd do that for me? Well, for Rachel?"

"Sure. We're friends, right?"

Quinn smiled. "Yeah, I guess we are."

"Well, all right then. Let's help your friend."

Quinn knew she was somewhat responsible, so she was going to do whatever she could to protect Rachel. She'd never be able to forgive herself if anything happened while Rachel was looking for her, so she needed to convince her to stop somehow. Quinn knew that the only way to get through to Rachel was to channel her Cheerio HBIC self and chase Rachel away. As much as it was going to hurt, it was for Rachel's own protection.

So, she began writing,

_Dear Rachel, Please stop looking for me. I'm fine, I just don't have time for you or anyone else right now..._


	10. Present

Present - Colorado

Rachel woke up earlier than the rest of her friends. Her internal body clock was used to waking up at 6am sharp every morning to begin her exercise regime, but ever since they had been on the road, she would just wake up early and lie there thinking. Rachel slid out of bed, trying not to wake Puck. Brittany and Santana were cuddling close to one another on the other bed. She picked up her coat and a room key and walked towards the office. It was a small motel, but she wanted to see if they still had fruit or muffins that she could take back to the room.

Rachel pushed open the door and the jingle of the bell rang as the door swung. She looked around silently. The owner must have been asleep. There was a strange feeling in the air that Rachel couldn't quite explain. As she walked towards the back room, the floorboards creaked and groaned. The room looked like a small kitchen. It had a stove, microwave, and a table. Rachel looked into the room and she noticed a pair of legs extended on the floor with the rest of the body inside of the pantry. She grabbed a knife that was on the table.

"H-hello? We're ready to check out," she called out. No one answered. All she could hear was crunching and squishing and other unappetizing sounds. The closer she got, the better her view was of the motel owner. She realized that there was a pool of blood flowing out the pantry and her grip on the knife got tighter. She was regretting not taking a gun with her, even though she didn't know how to fire one.

The sounds from the pantry stopped and Rachel could see a shadow extending out towards her. She was face-to-face with another one of the infected and she was frozen in place. Her feet wouldn't move and she hugged the knife to her chest. A choked scream got caught in her throat and she was paralyzed with fear. The infected man shuffled closer and closer towards Rachel, arms outstretched. His face was sunken in with blood and skin dripping down his mouth. Just as the former man was about to reach out to Rachel's neck, someone pushed her out of the way.

"Rachel! What the hell?"

It was Puck. He had the baseball bat in one hand and swung at the infected man's head. He teetered back to the floor and Puck straddled the man and hit him repeatedly with the bat until it no longer had a face. When he stood up, he looked into Rachel's eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Rachel nodded silently, still clutching the knife to her body.

"Let's get the other girls and get out of here. Now." He put his hand on her back and helped her out of the kitchen. They ran back to the room and Puck ran through the door and started gathering their things.

"We gotta get out of here. Pack up your things and meet at the car."

"What's going on?" Santana asked while she and Brittany were struggling to wake up.

"Rachel was attacked. Come on, move!"

"All right, all right. Calm your tits." Santana turned towards Brittany and shook her gently. "Wake up, B, we need to go."

Brittany stirred and slowly got out of bed. They packed up their bags, brushed their teeth, and met up at the car. Puck was already sitting in the driver's seat, waiting.

"What the hell was that thing, Rachel?"

"I-I'm not exactly sure. I've seen one once before, but it was years ago. I've heard about them on the news, though. You know how they're saying this infection is making people incredibly violent and sick. I think that was one of them."

"What are you two talking about?" Santana butted in.

"I don't even know what we saw. Infected man? Zombie? You should know, you're in the military. They always know all of that behind the scenes bullshit."

"Hey, Puckerman, watch your mouth. I'm not one of those grunts who just does what they're told. I've never heard about any of this. I know about the Infection, obviously, but no one told me anything about any fucking zombies, or whatever."

Rachel turned to face the backseats. "What about The Looking Glass Coalition? Have you heard much about that, other than what we've just discovered?"

"Not really, all I know is that they're supposed to be spearheading the cure and it's all hush-hush. I never knew Quinn was working with them, didn't know they were in California, and certainly didn't know that they were holding Puck and others in their little hospital. I would have busted in there earlier."

"Right, of course," Rachel said as she turned back around. She looked over at Puck who was staring straight ahead. After about an hour of driving, he pulled over into a field and turned the car off.

"Why are we stopping?" Brittany asked.

Puck walked out of the car without a word and opened the trunk. He removed the bag that had the weapons and hopped a fence that led into a grassy field. The girls jumped out of the car and followed him, confused and somewhat worried. Puck stopped near a wooden fence that looked like it had seen better days. He dropped the bag onto the ground, opened it, and handed each girl a gun. "Santana and I are going to teach you two how to shoot. I don't ever want you to be in a position where you can't defend yourself. We're going to make you comfortable enough to handle a gun, shoot accurately, and deal with the recoil. Got it?"

Rachel and Brittany nodded while Santana looked mildly concerned. She wondered what happened back at the motel to cause Puck to act like this. Puck handed Rachel and Brittany pistols and placed some empty bottles that he had taken from the car on the fence. He walked behind Rachel while Santana stood behind Brittany and they showed them how to stand: feet shoulder-width apart, fingers resting on the trigger, not gripping too tightly. After a few practice rounds, Puck felt comfortable enough that they could shoot a stationary target, but having a large figure moving and running towards them would be a whole different ballgame. They would panic, adrenaline would be coursing through their bodies, and they would have to learn how to turn off their brains on their own. Puck and Santana couldn't teach that.

When Puck was satisfied that they had enough shooting practice, they walked back to the cars, a little more sure of themselves. Santana and Brittany took the front seats and Rachel and Puck piled into the back. They still had two state lines to cross before getting to California, but they were determined to drive there without stopping. After driving for about a half hour, Santana spoke up and asked the question that they were all thinking, but were too afraid to ask.

"So, what exactly are we going to do when we get there? There's only four of us and we can't exactly charge straight into The Looking Glass HQ without raising some alarms. We don't even know if Quinn is still there."

"She's still there. I know it," Rachel said as she looked out the window at the grassy landscape passing them by.

"Right, okay, so what if she is? If she didn't want to be there, don't you think she would have escaped by now? It's been years. For all we know she's gone all Stockholm Syndrome on us and wants to be there. This could all be for nothing."

Rachel sighed. "Yes, it could be all for nothing, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't at least try and find out for sure. She... she might need us."

"All right, Berry. Calm down. Let's go get your lady," Santana said as she looked in the rear view mirror.

"She's not my lady," Rachel said under her breath.

"Not yet," Puck said with a wink.

"You two are still so immature! I have never had feelings for Quinn, let alone another woman before."

"There's a first time for everything," Brittany replied. "Besides, why else would we be driving across the country to find Quinn, who you haven't talked to in years?"

Even Brittany, the girl who once thought that decapitating gummi bears before eating them eased their pain, had a point. Rachel must have some sort of feelings for Quinn, romantic or otherwise, if she dragged three of her friends to take on a powerful pharmaceutical company in order to bring Quinn home. She wouldn't have taken a train all the way to Yale to look for Quinn if she didn't care. She definitely wouldn't spend all of her time thinking about her and how much she missed her and wanted to hug her and never let go. And she wouldn't have turned her head when Finn tried to kiss her in her apartment.

Rachel covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh... oh goodness, you guys are right. I-I think I non-platonic feelings for Quinn."

"We know," Puck smiled at Rachel and brought her forehead to his lips. "It's about time you figured it out."

Rachel stared at her hands as she played with the hem of her shirt. "So, what now?"

"Well, first thing's first," Santana said, staring into the rear-view mirror. "We need to actually get to California. Then we need a plan to get into the building and how to un-kidnap Quinn."

"Okay, a plan. I've got it."

Rachel explained her plan to everyone – Santana rolled her eyes, Puck looked confused, and Brittany nodded in agreement. They stopped for lunch about an hour outside of Palo Alto and went over the plan once more. Rachel said she would go in alone first and no matter how much Puck protested, Rachel was determined to go by herself. If she didn't come out within the hour, they were supposed to leave, even though she knew they wouldn't.

When they arrived in Palo Alto, they could see the Looking Glass Coalition building from a mile away. It was a huge building that towered over everything else around it. Puck parked a couple of blocks away and Rachel got out of the car.

"Okay, everyone, please don't come in after me. In order for the plan to work, I can't have three other people to be responsible for and worry about."

Santana got out of the backseat and circled around to stand in front of Rachel. "Get your head out of your ass, Berry. You aren't responsible for anyone but yourself, but if you want to go ahead with your suicide mission, you go right ahead. Britt and I will wait here."

"Hey, calm down Santana. We'll do this Rachel's way, but I can't promise I won't bust in there if you're gone for too long," Puck admitted.

Rachel nodded. "Fine, you do what you want. I can't stop you." She proceeded to rip up her clothing and patted some dirt on her face. "I think I'm ready."

Rachel pulled Puck and Brittany into a hug. "Stay safe. I'll be back soon." She turned towards Santana and outstretched her arms. The two of them had had their differences, but she still respected Santana.

"I've gotta hand it to you, Berry. You've got guts. Don't do anything stupid and don't die, otherwise I'm coming after you and not because I like you. I just want to see you and Q make out once in my lifetime." Santana walked forward and wrapped her arms around to fit around Rachel's shoulders. Rachel rolled her eyes and nodded a final goodbye and began running towards her target. There were teams of military personnel around, doing their rounds around the outside of the building. With arms flailing, Rachel ran straight for one of the groups.

"Help! Someone please help me!"

One of the military women stepped forward and held out a cautious hand. "Whoa, hang on there, miss. What's going on?"

"Z-zombies... chasing me... been running for miles." Rachel bent down with her hands on her knees and faked being out of breath.

"All right. You weren't bitten, were you?"

"No, I saw it when it was pretty far away and just started running. It didn't touch me."

"Come with us." The military officer walked behind Rachel as she headed towards the building entrance. Her heart was beating out of her chest and she was worried about leaving her friends behind, but this was something she needed to do. She was escorted through the front sliding doors, past the receptionist's desk and into a small room that almost looked like those interrogation rooms on TV.

"Someone will be in to see you in a few minutes," said the woman, as she shut the door behind her. There were no windows in the room, but Rachel spotted a tiny surveillance camera in the corner. She wondered why they would have a room like this in a medical facility, but it was just one more question to add to the list. Rachel waited in the room for what seemed like hours. It got to the point where she started talking to the camera in the corner, asking if someone would please come in, as it was really inappropriate and rude to keep someone waiting this long. She added a _do you know who I am_ in there, as well - because, really, she was Rachel Barbra Berry. She'd been on TV, appeared at events and fundraisers. This was no way to treat a star, darn it.

Finally, the door opened and a woman with dark hair and glasses stepped in.

"Ms. Berry, sorry to keep you waiting so long. I'm Doctor Hadder. We've had a minor incident with one of our patients that took precedence. I hope you're comfortable."

"Oh, good, you know who I am. I'm sure you've seen me from my many television appearances."

The woman stared at Rachel, not giving anything away. "What brings you here, Ms. Berry?"

"I'm glad you asked that. I'm actually here to speak to Quinn Fabray. I know she's here, or used to be, and I've been looking for her for years. I apologize for the ruse; I wasn't sure if I would be allowed in as I'm not in a medical profession and everything is so confidential nowadays."

"There's a reason for that," the doctor answered.

"Yes, I'm aware, but you see – "

"Ms. Berry," the woman interrupted, "While I can appreciate your concern for your friend, don't you think she would have tried to contact you after all these years if she wanted to see you?"

"Well, I suppose, but – "

"And let's say she did contact you, saying that she was fine. Any normal person would have taken that at face value and left it alone, but you... you keep coming back for more. How much rejection can a person possibly take?"

"With all due respect, ma'am, I'm in show business. I've been rejected more times than your brain can count."

The woman smiled, unfazed. "You've got guts just like Fabray. I can see why she wants to protect you."

"Where is she," Rachel demanded. "I want to see her."

The woman laughed hollowly. "I thought she made it clear that she didn't want to see you, Ms. Berry. Her letter clearly stated that she was fine and didn't have time for you or your friends."

Rachel raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Lady, the fact that you know what Quinn said in her letter tells me one of two things: either you forced her to write it or you're been keeping tabs on her while she's been here. Either way, it doesn't necessarily mean that she's here on her own free will, in which case, I would like to speak with her."

"I think it's adorable that you think you can spout off your demands as if you have any rights in here. We know you and your friends came here with the intention of infiltrating our head office; we were waiting and you walked right in." Doctor Hadder tapped on the door twice and it opened. Two menacing female guards walked in – they looked like professional wrestlers or bodybuilders.

"Take her to her cell and bring in her friends afterwards. I'd like to have a word with them."

"Yes, ma'am," said the woman who brought Rachel in. She lifted Rachel up by her arm and escorted her out of the room and towards the holding cells. The guard led her to an empty cell and closed the door behind her. Rachel looked around and sat on the uncomfortable cot. The mattress was about three inches thick and the blanket wasn't going to keep anyone warm. She heard a whirring noise coming from the corner of the room and she noticed the camera. Knowing that they would want her to make a scene, she resisted the urge to yell and scream at whoever was watching and just lay down, facing the wall.

She lay there for what felt like hours before the sound of a key turning a lock came from the door. Rachel sat up against the wall and brought her arms around her knees, guarding herself. Two guards walked in first and stood at both sides of the door and a third woman walked in between them. Rachel immediately recognized the blonde and felt her eyes widen like saucers.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Hello, Rachel," the blonde said coolly. "I hope you haven't been treated too badly."

"What would you care?" Rachel spat out. "You disappeared years ago, Quinn, with no warning and no goodbye, and now you just show up in this medical center that's supposedly manufacturing the cure for the Infection? Give me a break."

Quinn turned to the guards behind her. "Leave us." The guards shuffled out of the room and Quinn closed the door behind them. Her whole demeanor changed once they were gone. Her eyes softened and she wasn't standing as rigidly as before.

"Rachel, please let me explain."

"You've had four years to explain. Why now, when I'm trapped in this jail cell and have nowhere else to go?"

Quinn looked genuinely upset with herself. She took out a device from her pocket and laid it on the sink in the cell. A red dot blinked on it in a steady pulse. "It's a scrambler; there are bugs all over this wing and I can't let anyone else hear what I'm about to tell you. I've tried to contact you, but they wouldn't let me have my phone, write unmonitored e-mails, nothing."

"But you sent me that letter, saying that I needed to give up and leave you alone."

Quinn shook her head. "I was trying to protect you. I knew that they would go after you if they knew you were looking for me. They... they haven't done anything to you, have they?"

"No, of course not, but they have Puck, Santana, and Brittany in that interrogation room and we're all stuck in here. This is how you protect your friends?" Rachel replied angrily, refusing to maintain eye contact. She wasn't going to forgive Quinn that easily. It had been nearly four years since they last spoke and Rachel needed to remind herself that even though she was overjoyed to finally see Quinn in person, and felt the need to pounce on top of her, it was more important to get her questions answered first.

"I know, I asked the guards to bring them in for their own protection. You of all people should know it isn't safe out there."

"What do you mean _me of all people_?"

Quinn faltered slightly. She knew that she had stumbled over her words; Rachel always had that effect on her, which was strange, because she was Quinn Fabray and she always knew what to say. "I just mean that I know you must have been through a lot in the past few years, because we all have. I mean, we've lost so much."

"Like you know anything about loss," Rachel contested, not wanting to accept the fact Quinn might actually care what's happened to her, their friends, and her family in the past few years. She wasn't there when Kurt and Blaine died, or Sam or Mike; and she certainly wasn't there when her fathers and Finn died – when Rachel needed her the most.

Quinn let out a tiny breath, and just as she was about to speak, there was a soft knock on the door. The device that Quinn placed on the sink was quickly snatched up and put in her pocket. A guard peeked her head into the cell.

"Excuse me, Ms. Fabray, Hayley would like to speak with you."

Quinn sighed and casually rolled her eyes. "What does she want?" Quinn and Hayley's relationship, friendship, whatever, was strained ever since they found out that Rachel was her way there. Hayley had tried to convince Quinn to turn them away somehow because it wouldn't be safe for them there, but Hayley didn't know how stubborn Rachel could be.

The guard shrugged her shoulders and stepped aside as Quinn moved towards the doorway. "I'm not sure, ma'am. She just said she had something important to talk to you about." As Quinn walked towards the door, she turned her head towards Rachel with an apologetic look.

"I'll be back after I see what she wants."

Rachel gave no response and crossed her arms over her knees and leaned against the wall. She didn't know who this Hayley was, but she watched Quinn's body language and there was obviously something going on, otherwise Quinn wouldn't have tensed when the guard said the other woman's name. Since Rachel didn't really have anything else to do, she decided to over-analyze Quinn and Hayley's potential relationship. It _had_ been four years, after all, and men were dropping like flies. It was only natural for most of the women to begin finding comfort with each other. Rachel felt a pang of jealousy deep in her gut. She knew that there was no reason to be, considering she didn't even know where Quinn was until a few minutes ago.

They were much different people living in a much different time. It was only natural for things to change, but Rachel wasn't ready. She had only just found Quinn again, only to lose her to some random woman she didn't know. Then again, this could all be in her head and they weren't involved romantically. Either way, it didn't matter; Rachel was stuck in her prison cell and it didn't look like Quinn needed saving, so her knight in shining armor idea flew out the window along with the fractured shards of her heart.

Another knock came from the door and it opened as Quinn walked back through. She looked more ragged and slightly frantic. She took Rachel by the arms and held them tight, bringing her lips close to her ear.

"Rachel, I need you to hit me. Don't ask questions, just hit me." The confusion on her face must have been obvious, because Quinn steeled her eyes and gripped her arms harder. "Hit me." When Rachel didn't move, she took a step forward. "I never cared about you. What I said in the letter was true and I just came here so I didn't have to see you again and deal with your clinginess."

Without thinking, Rachel brought her hand back and slapped Quinn across the face, releasing all of her pent up frustration, anger, and loneliness that she had been holding onto. She slapped Quinn for leaving and abandoning her, for not being there when she needed someone, and for putting her and her friends in danger. Quinn recoiled backwards into one of the guards. She turned to leave and sternly told one of the guards to bring Rachel with them. The larger of the two guards grabbed Rachel by her arm and dragged her out of the cell. She was escorted to a hallway and was stopped in front of two oak doors with brass handles with crowns on each of them. The guard swung the doors open and gently pushed Rachel in, closing the door behind her.

The room was dim with only a few rays of sunlight peeking through the red curtains along the back wall. Rachel stepped forward a few inches, cautiously and timidly, looking at the enormous office around her. As she scanned left to right, her eyes found Quinn standing at her mini bar, pouring out two drinks. She glided towards Rachel, glasses in her hands, and offered one.

"No thank you, I don't drink," Rachel whispered. Quinn had an amused look on her face. She didn't expect Rachel to still be so innocent, for lack of a better word. They stood there awkwardly for a few seconds until Quinn placed one of the glasses on the coffee table and motioned Rachel to sit down on the couch in front of her.

"What do you want, Quinn, and why did I have to hit you... not that I minded," Rachel demanded under her breath, but loud enough for Quinn to hear. After Rachel sat down on the leather couch, Quinn sat opposite her on a matching armchair.

"I needed an excuse to get you here alone and if they think I'm reprimanding you, they won't be as suspicious."

Rachel laughed at the absurdity. "I don't see why you would need to explain yourself to anyone. You never have."

Quinn winced at the dig at her, but shrugged it off. She knew Rachel was upset with her and would lash out whenever she had the chance. As she played with the rim of her glass, her eyes glanced up every so often to look at Rachel's face, which was still hardened and angry, and looking everywhere but at Quinn. She needed to fix this somehow, but didn't know what to do. She delicately rubbed her cheek that was still sore and slightly red.

"That's payback for junior prom," Rachel said, finally making eye contact with Quinn. The corner of her lip was curled up ever so slightly, but snapped back into indifference as soon as she realized what she was doing.

Quinn smiled at the progress they were making. Eye contact was better than nothing. She placed her drink on the table and put her hands in her lap.

"Rachel, I need to explain some things to you, but I need you to listen without interrupting me."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I can't promise anything, but I'll try." Part of her was curious to hear what Quinn had to say, but the other part just didn't care anymore. The past four years had been a whirlwind of lies and deceit and Rachel was tired of it, but her curiosity got the better of her, so she waited for Quinn to continue her explanation.

Quinn let out a deep breath. "Okay, first off, just wanted to say how sorry I am for making you worry. I didn't have a choice." Rachel opened her mouth to say something, but Quinn cut her off. "Before you say anything, hear me out. I had every intention of meeting up with you for spring break; I had everything ready and planned out. I was going to take you on a tour of my campus, take you to my favorite hipster coffee shop and take you to a lookout point where you can see the whole city. I had it all planned, Rachel, and I couldn't follow through because of... of this," Quinn circled her arms around motioned towards her office.

"What exactly are you saying, Quinn? You passed up our meeting, dropped out of college completely, disappeared from your friends' lives so you could have an office the size of my house?"

"No, Rachel, what I'm saying is that I had no choice but to come here. Okay, let me start from the beginning." Quinn told Rachel about Tyler and Professor Lewis, and Doctor Hadder. She explained how she was kidnapped and how she wasn't allowed to call or e-mail anyone. Lastly, she explained her role within the company and how's she's basically been put in charge with developing the cure for the Infestation alongside Artie.

"Artie? You were here with Artie?"

Quinn nodded. "He was here when I was brought here, but h-he... you know."

"Died," Rachel confirmed. "Like everyone else."

"I heard about your fathers," Quinn admitted, "and Finn. I wanted to call you, but I couldn't."

"Why didn't you just send me another ominous letter," Rachel asked angrily. "You could have told me how foolish I'm being because I was still looking for you or that's what I get for not listening. Do you know how many times I've tried calling you and left messages?" Quinn shook her head. "Fifty-four. I've called and left messages fifty-four times in the past four years, not actually thinking that you would answer. I left messages because it was comforting – a way for me to vent, because I needed my best friend." Rachel rubbed away a tear as her emotions betrayed her. She had been so strong up until now and it was all catching up. Seeing Quinn again made her feel like the vulnerable teenager who was showered by slushies every day and called mean names by the exact same person sitting in front of her. Quinn had always been manipulative and played games to get whatever she wanted; this wasn't so different.

"And Hayley? Who's she?" Rachel inquired.

Quinn bit the corner of her lip pensively. "We-We're friends. She helped me a lot when I first got here and she was the only person I felt I could trust."

"So, you didn't trust Artie?"

Quinn shook her head. "He was here voluntarily. He _wanted_ to be here and was helping them with their work. I couldn't trust him."

Rachel studied Quinn, trying to see if this was another one of her games. "You and her are just friends, then?"

Quinn narrowed her eyes skeptically at Rachel. "Yes, Rachel, why?"

"N-No reason, just that you didn't look too excited to speak to her when you came to see me in the cell. Your body language was just a little rigid, is all. We used to be able to talk about this stuff."

Quinn smiled and laughed to herself. Rachel was always so observant when it came to people's reactions, so there was no use in trying to lie to her, because she'd see right through it. "I know, but you never used to interrogate me about it. Okay, fine, we were close and, um, have been intimate, but it's been over for a while," Quinn said carefully.

 _Of course._ Rachel thought. As she kept reminding herself, it had been four years. Quinn didn't have anyone else, so of course she'd find solace in this woman, whoever she was. A knot started to form in the pit of her stomach and she suddenly felt sick. "I don't feel well, I'd like to go back to my cell now."

Quinn stood up slowly. "I-I can try and get you more comfortable accommodations. There are plenty of rooms in the building; we all sleep here."

"Fine," replied Rachel. "I'd like to speak to my friends, too."

Quinn winced after she heard Rachel say that. She was clearly saying it to hurt Quinn, suggesting that the two of them were no longer friends. She nodded solemnly. "I'll see what I can do. Wait here and I'll find you and the rest of the guys some accommodations. They'll most likely place guards outside of your room, though, so I wouldn't expect to be able to speak to them much."

"I thought you ran this place," Rachel commented sarcastically.

"I run the division that's researching the cure. I don't run the entire building or company. The people in charge are real hard asses."

Rachel scoffed. "Well, obviously, if they've kept you here against your will for four years. And aren't you worried about talking about this stuff with all the bugs and monitoring?"

"Not at all. My office is the only room not bugged or filled with cameras. I've made sure of that; I sweep my office twice a week."

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Paranoid much?"

"It's not paranoia, Rachel, it's safety." Quinn turned to open the door and looked behind her. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry for everything that's happened, but I'm glad you're here." When Rachel didn't reply right away, she left the office and shut the door behind her. The office really was enormous and Rachel couldn't understand why any person would need that much space. It was far too neat and tidy to suggest that Quinn spent much time in there; it was probably more of a status symbol, like a letterman jacket or a Chihuahua and handbag combination in Los Angeles.

Rachel stood up and walked towards Quinn's desk. It had a fancy looking computer on it, as well as a phone and a few files. One of the files caught her eye; it was fairly thick and had a label on it with Rachel's name. She opened it and began sifting through the papers. There were pictures of her from the past four years - from every photo shoot, every newspaper article, and some that were taken by paparazzi. "They didn't even get my good side," she whispered to herself. As she continued going through all of the photos and papers, there was a medical file of Rachel's from when she was in the hospital. Quinn's signature was at the bottom just like on Puck's file in Chicago, so she actually _had_ gone to see her and dropped the flowers off rather than sending them.

Rachel slammed the file closed and shook her head. Quinn had a lot more explaining to do and Rachel intended to get her questions answered one way or another. Rachel slumped back into Quinn's desk chair and noticed a paper had fallen on the floor. She picked it up and read through it – it looked like a chain of e-mails between Quinn and Hayley regarding the cure. In one of Quinn's e-mails, she said it was their fault that the virus broke out in the first place, so it was their job to contain it and find out how to cure it. Hayley was arguing that it wasn't their fault and they were just trying to survive.

 _Great_ , Rachel thought. _More questions to ask Quinn._

Right when folded up the paper to put in her pocket, Hayley stormed back into the office with Quinn and two guards trailing behind her.

"What are you thinking, Quinn? You just left her in your office? We need to be extra careful. Do you know what could happen if she got nosey and found the wrong thing? I knew this was a bad idea."

Quinn huffed in frustration. "Will you relax? I've known Rachel since high school, she's not a threat."

"Yeah, you knew Artie since high school, too, but look what happened to him." Hayley pointed an accusatory finger at Quinn's chest. "I said you could get her out of the cell; I didn't say to get all warm and cozy in your office."

Quinn balled her fist and swatted Hayley's hand away. "Are you seriously getting jealous right now? You and I are not a thing anymore. None of this is even about you."

Rachel stared at the tennis match going on in front of her and took a big swig of the drink that Quinn had poured her earlier. She had a feeling that she would need it. The women were still arguing and Rachel stepped forward and attempted to interrupt them. "If I may..."

"Shut up, Rachel!" the women said in unison.

Rachel sat back down in the couch, pouting. "Rude." It took another ten minutes before Quinn calmed Hayley down enough to leave without dragging Rachel out. She took another sip of her drink and watched Quinn sit herself next to her on the couch.

"I thought you didn't drink," Quinn said half joking.

"Yeah, well, things change. What was all of that about, anyway? It seemed rather... heated."

Quinn rolled her eyes and grabbed Rachel's cup and took her own sip. "She doesn't take rejection well. I think she was like me when I was in high school – top of the high school food chain, got everything she wanted, no one questioned her. Then she got brought here and lost her freedom."

"So... you've been rejecting her advances?"

"Yes, Rachel, I've already told you that it's been over between us for a long time, but I don't think she's accepted that yet. You've never been this invested in my love life before. What's up?" Rachel didn't know how to answer that. Throughout high school, it had always been Quinn getting involved in her relationship with Finn, but now things were flipped.

"Nothing's up, just that you seem so different now. You're in charge of this cure for an infection that you supposedly started."

Quinn choked on her drink and sputtered. "Excuse me?"

Rachel took the printed e-mails out of her pocket and handed it to Quinn. "Sorry," she said sheepishly. "I guess you can't trust me."

Quinn took the paper and read through it. "Well, the fact that you aren't freaking out on me and running around screaming means something." She lay the paper down on the coffee table and looked into Rachel's eyes. "Look, Rach, there's so much I need to tell you, but I need you to understand something. Nothing I've done in the past four years has really been on my own free will. You know how excited I was to go to Yale and these people just plucked me out of my life as if it meant nothing. I was forced to work for them; they threatened my family, friends, and... and you. I couldn't be responsible for hurting any of you and I wasn't sure what they were capable of, so I just fell in line and did whatever they asked me to. I never knew the gravity of their research and never knew what impact it would have."

"Does that mean that you did start the Infection?"

The look on Quinn's face was so full of pain and self-loathing. She was quiet for a long while and buried her head in her hands. "I-I did this. I killed all those people... your dads, Finn, everyone," she choked out. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn and leaned her head on Quinn's back, bumping up and down with each hiccup coming from the broken woman. Rachel cooed reassurances and promises that everything would be okay, that it wasn't her fault and they'd make it through.

By the time Quinn had calmed down, they had drunk two more glasses of scotch together and talked about the past four years. Rachel told Quinn about the zombie attacks she had been involved in and Quinn had an incredulous look on her face like she didn't believe her.

"Wait, you _saw_ zombies?"

"Yeah, why? I thought a lot of people have seen them."

Quinn shook her head in disbelief. Something was wrong. "No, the zombies that had been seen by the public were planted there. All of the violent infected people would have been contained in a military facility offsite. I don't understand; this would mean that someone sent them after you."

"W-What? They were sent after me?"

"Wait here," Quinn said as she bolted out the door. Rachel remained seated and nervously drank from her cup. She was left to her thoughts, which were filled with what if's and questioning Quinn's motives, and trying not to think that Quinn was involved in the attacks. Rachel waited an excruciating fifteen minutes before Quinn came back and she looked even more frustrated and upset than before.

"Come with me, Rachel. I'm getting you out of here."

Rachel stood up and ghosted towards Quinn. She had no idea what was going on, but she brought herself to trust Quinn enough not to put her in anymore danger. Quinn put her hand on the small of Rachel's back and escorted her out of the office. She led her to an elevator and pushed the button for the 54th floor. They stood in silence as the elevator ascended up the building into the clouds and the heavens, but if there was a God, He certainly wasn't coming to help them.

When the elevator stopped, the doors opened into Quinn's penthouse that extended over the entire floor of the building. Rachel was absolutely awestruck. She had never seen anything like it, not even while living in New York. The back wall was filled with windows that looked out into the San Francisco Bay; to the right was the kitchen and mini bar with the top of the line amenities.

"Can I get you another drink?" Quinn almost looked embarrassed. Her entire stance was different and she wasn't standing up straight and confident like she was before. She looked defeated and that wasn't the Quinn that Rachel knew. Feeling the effects of the scotch she drank earlier, she steadied herself by holding onto the back of a cream-colored leather sofa and nodded affirmatively to Quinn's question.

"I have red wine, is that okay?"

Rachel nodded again and circled around the couch to sit down. Quinn walked over to the bar and poured them a couple of glasses. When Quinn sat down next to Rachel, she handed over the glass and left a few feet of space between them. It felt like the emotional rift between them had become a physical one. Quinn couldn't remember the last time she was this nervous and it was strange, because this was Rachel, her best friend. Her heart was pounding out of her chest and she glanced over at Rachel, who was looking longingly into her half-filled wine glass.

Quinn finally broke the silence and asked, "Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?" She gave Rachel a comforting smile, trying to make up for their lost time, but she knew that it was going to be a long, hard road before they got back to normal.

"Yes, of course I do, but I'm just incredibly tired and just really want to sleep. I don't think I'd be able to form coherent questions to adequately sate my confused self."

Quinn set her glass down on the table after only having two sips. She stood up and started walking towards the hallway. "I have a spare bedroom this way and I probably have some clothes you can borrow if you need them. And, before you ask, I've had Puck, Santana, and Brittany settled into their own rooms, too. I've made sure of it."

"Well, it's good to know you haven't completely lost your conscience," Rachel jabbed and immediately regretted treating Quinn that way. "I'm sorry, that was unnecessarily mean of me."

Quinn looked down at the floor and flattened her skirt nervously. "No, it's okay. I deserve all of it. I'll go find you some clothes to sleep in."

As she watched Quinn walk away, Rachel mentally kicked herself for being so hard on her. She knew deep down that Quinn would have never done all of this on her own; Quinn was never _that_ cruel. When Quinn came back with some shorts and a t-shirt, Rachel thanked her and excused herself to the restroom to shower and change. While she showered, Quinn went into the guest room that was rarely ever used to make sure everything was set up for Rachel. She wasn't sure why she kept it a guest room; it could have easily been turned into a study, but the possibility of maybe having a guest in her loft someday was comforting.

Rachel finished showering and put on the clothes that Quinn gave her. She looked into the mirror and smiled. Quinn had given her a red William McKinley Cheerios t-shirt to wear and laid out a new toothbrush on the sink. Rachel brought the collar up to her nose to see if it smelled like Quinn and it did, even after all these years. The smell of Quinn's perfume that she wore in high school permeated her senses and reminded her of a better time. She wandered into the guest room and saw Quinn sitting on the bed.

"I like the shirt," Rachel said quietly, looking down and flattening the shirt across her torso.

Quinn looked up and smiled. "I thought you might. I've, uh, tried to make sure that everything's in place, but if you need anything, my room is just down the hall." Rachel nodded a thank you and Quinn stood up to exit the room. She brushed by, leaving her scent in the room and it took all of Rachel's willpower to resist grabbing Quinn by the wrist and push her up against the wall, crashing their lips together. Instead, she just bid her goodnight and let her leave. She climbed into bed and brought the sheets up to her chin. Ever since she was a child, Rachel always had trouble falling asleep in strange places and it was even worse if she was alone. She drifted off to sleep, letting her dreams take over.

_Rachel found herself in a dark bar, walking up to a stage with a microphone. A man in an Elvis costume introduced her as "the Alice to my King of Hearts" and everyone applauded. Rachel gripped the microphone and realized that she was in a karaoke bar and the song she was about to sing was "I Am the Walrus" by The Beatles. The song began, and by the middle, the whole bar had joined in with her._

_Afterwards, a tall figure slinked towards the stage; it was the same man who approached Rachel at Yale with the letter from Quinn. He handed her another note and before she could ask who it was from, the man was gone. Rachel ripped open the letter and read through it. It was from Quinn, like the other letter – same handwriting, same stationary, same cold and distant feeling behind the words. There was no love, no history between them, and no emotion. The words almost sounded soulless, telling Rachel she never meant anything to Quinn and that anything she ever believed was a dream, a figment of her imagination. They were never friends. In fact, Quinn couldn't stand Rachel's overbearing and critical demeanor and wasn't sure how Finn could stand her. The letter fell from Rachel's hands and she started walking somewhere, anywhere, with no destination._

_She robotically walked across the Pawn Bridge and stopped midway through, looking across the edge and the rippling water. She felt completely alone, abandoned, and worst of all, worthless. Quinn had said it herself: Rachel was unworthy of anyone's love and no one in their right mind would lower their standards enough to want to be with someone like her. Standing on the railing of the bridge, she rocked back and forth, feeling the gentle breeze on her face. No one would miss her if she jumped; no one would care._

_So, she jumped._

_All of the stories she was told were wrong. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, no past memories of her life coming back to her, no one waiting to take her into the afterlife. The only thing there was, was quiet emptiness. And that's when she woke up..._

Rachel shot straight up, breathing heavily, heart pounding out of her chest. She wiped the sweat from her cheek, realizing that they were tears and she had been crying in her sleep. When she couldn't slow her breathing, she got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. Rachel grabbed a glass from the cupboard and put it under the tap. She brought the glass to her lips and her hands were shaking so much that she lost grip on the glass and it went crashing down onto the hard floor and shattered everywhere. Covering her face with her hands, Rachel fell to the floor and started sobbing. Quinn came running out of her room with a baseball bat in her hands and dropped it once she saw Rachel on the kitchen floor. She ran over and bent down, placing a hand on Rachel's shoulder.

"Rachel, are you okay? What happened?" When Rachel didn't answer, Quinn wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and sat next to her and just held her. "Hey, it's okay, Rach. Everything's going to be okay," Quinn whispered.

Rachel buried her face into Quinn's shoulder and held onto her for dear life. Choking in between sobs, she begged Quinn, "Please don't leave me. I don't want to be alone... don't leave me."

Quinn hugged Rachel closer, "I won't. I'll never leave you again."

When Quinn could feel Rachel relax, she lifted Rachel to her feet and took her to the guest bedroom. After she tucked Rachel in, she started to walk towards the door and stopped when she heard Rachel call out her name.

"Quinn? Could... could you stay with me? At least until I fall asleep."

"Yeah, of course," Quinn answered as she walked back towards the bed and climbed in next to her. Rachel was curled up, facing Quinn, and wrapped an arm around her torso, holding her close. Quinn still smelled the same; it was a mixture between cinnamon and lavender. She breathed her in once more and nuzzled her face into the small of Quinn's neck and let out a deep breath. This was a moment she had thought about most nights when she was alone in her apartment and needed to release some pent up frustration, but now that she was finally here with Quinn, all she wanted to do was be held and comforted.

Quinn's strong arms rubbed small circles on her back to placate her fears and doubts. She was propped up on one of the pillows, covering Rachel protectively, running a hand through her soft and aromatic hair. She didn't know when she became so protective of her, but she now felt a sense of duty to keep Rachel safe from harm. When she thought that Rachel had fallen asleep, Quinn slipped her arm out from under Rachel's neck and left the bed. She got as far as the doorway when she heard Rachel stir.

"Where are you going?" she murmured.

Quinn turned around and smiled inwardly and the groggy Rachel. "Oh, uh, I thought you were asleep. I was going to go back to my room."

"You don't have to. I mean, I don't mind if you stay," she said as she sat up in the bed. "I-I'd like you to."

Slowly, Quinn started walking towards the bed and sat down on the edge. Rachel patted the mattress next to her and invited Quinn to lie down. Quinn lay down nervously on top of the blankets and sheets, stiff as a board. Rachel leaned on her right arm and looked at Quinn.

"If I ask you a question, would you answer it honestly?"

"It depends on the question, but most likely, yes."

Rachel chewed on the corner of her lip. "Were you in love with Hayley?"

Quinn looked over at Rachel and furrowed her brow. "Of all the questions you could have asked me to get an honest answer, you ask that?"

Rachel shrugged. "I'm just really curious. We're missing four years of each other's lives and I just want to know what's been going on, that's all. I want to get to know you again, because I know we've both changed a lot."

Quinn sighed and laughed lightly. "I don't think I was in love with her. If I'm not positive if I was or not, that says something, doesn't it?" Rachel remained silent as she studied Quinn's face while she talked. "I had been here for almost a year and she was my only friend. She was nice, we came from similar backgrounds, and I was lonely. So, it just kind of happened. It was more... convenient, if anything."

Rachel nodded, or attempted to from the angle she was lying in. Her curiousity was sated for the time being; Quinn wasn't in love with Hayley. That wasn't to say that she had been waiting for Rachel this entire time, because that would be silly. Still, she wanted to find out how Quinn felt. Rachel leaned in closer to Quinn, who was facing her - her facial features looked the same as when they were in high school, but Quinn's eyes were tired as if they had seen too much that couldn't be unseen. There were times where Rachel thought that Quinn was looking straight through her.

This wasn't one of those times, although Rachel felt like Quinn was staring into her, rather than at her. She brought her left hand up to cup Quinn's jaw, gently stroking her cheek.

Quinn scooted closer to Rachel. "Is it my turn to ask you a question now?"

Rachel smiled, "Sure, ask me anything."

"Why did you keep looking for me, even after I sent that note pushing you away and telling you to stop? I can't say I would have kept looking for four years if you had told me the things I said to you in that letter, although I'd like to think I would." Quinn broke eye contact then, too full of shame to look at Rachel.

"Hey," Rachel said softly. She gripped Quinn's chin gently and forced her look into her eyes. "You would have kept looking, I know you would. We were best friends, right?"

Quinn nodded, feeling the tears well up in the corner of her eyes.

"Right," Rachel continued. "And I know you. You'd do anything to make sure someone you cared about was safe, so I believe with all of my heart that you would have kept looking for me. You would have kept looking until you found me, because that's the kind of person you are. You are loyal to a fault, caring, and so, _so,_ brave. And I love you." Realizing what she had just said, Rachel's face fell. There was nowhere to hide and everything was exposed and out in the open now. "I, uh, I mean... as friends. You know, because we're best friends and best friends love each other. Platonically. Not that I couldn't love you as more than a friend. I just don't think it's really an appropriate time to discuss -"

Quinn cut off Rachel's rambling with a kiss. It was gentle and innocent at first, and caught Rachel completely by surprise. Rachel's eyes opened wider than they had ever been and it only took a few seconds for her to relax enough to close them and stop questioning what was happening. All Rachel knew was that Quinn, a woman, was kissing her and it was unlike ever kiss she had experienced. Something in her told her to stop and it wasn't right – she was attracted to men.

But this was _Quinn._

This was the girl who tormented her throughout her first two years of high school - the same girl who called her man hands and treasure trail, the same girl who made her question her whole relationship with Finn Hudson. At that moment, she didn't care what Quinn had done. They were there, together, and she realized that Quinn wasn't the one who needed to be found.

Rachel gripped Quinn's shirt, pulling them closer together, entwining their legs into a tangled mess. It was Rachel who deepened the kiss first, playfully licking Quinn's bottom lip until her mouth opened slightly. Rachel timidly snuck her tongue into Quinn's mouth – rolling, massaging, and exploring. Quinn reacted automatically, moaning back into Rachel, meeting every lick, every caress. She held both sides of Rachel's face, pulling her closer, diving into the kiss even more, never wanting to let go. Quinn tugged gently on Rachel's bottom lip, sucking in between her teeth, waiting for Rachel to breathe out harshly as she did when she was enjoying something.

Quinn moved from Rachel's mouth to her cheek, and kissed a trail from her lower neck up to her earlobe, licking the skin underneath it. Rachel arched her back into Quinn's abdomen and snaked her hands around her back, under the silky shirt. Quinn's breath hitched when Rachel reached down and slid her hands into the waistband of Quinn's shorts and rubbed the small of her back, causing Quinn to grind slowly into Rachel. Rachel leaned her head back and let out a soft, ragged breath and hugged Quinn closer to her. When she didn't let go and started to shiver nervously, Quinn stopped suddenly and looked at Rachel with concern in her eyes.

"Are you okay? Do we need to stop?"

Rachel shook her head without saying a word and wiped away stray tears with the palm of her hand. She looked from side to side - anywhere but at Quinn, because she knew that looking into her caring, hazel eyes would dismantle her. So, she did the only thing she could think of and hugged Quinn again, burying her head into the blonde's shoulder. Quinn wasn't sure what to do, so she rolled off of Rachel and held her close and let her cry out her pain.

"I-I'm sorry, I just... it's too much at once. I just found you and I've had all of these feelings lately and I don't know how to deal with anything right now."

Quinn kissed the top of Rachel's head and nodded. "I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed. We... we should take it slow. I'm not even sure what this means, you know?"

"Well, I assumed that it meant that we have a mutual attraction to one another and we were acting on primal instincts, or perhaps loneliness, and – " Quinn interrupted Rachel with another kiss. Rachel huffed in frustration, "You keep doing that."

"It's effective," Quinn replied with a smirk. "We should get some sleep, I'm going to have to hold some meetings in the morning, but you and I can catch up afterwards. Santana, Brittany, and Puck should be around somewhere and I'll make sure you guys get reunited, too."

Rachel smiled tenderly and hugged Quinn close. "I really, _really_ missed you, Quinn."

"I missed you, too, Rach - every single day."

Quinn fell asleep first and Rachel listened to her breathe in and out evenly until she drifted to sleep herself, promising to never let Quinn out of her sight again. Sometime later, they were woken up by the sound of the front door being kicked in. They shot up in a panic and stared at the armed women standing in front of them. The guards parted and Hayley walked through them with an angry, unamused look on her face.

"Hayley, what the hell are you doing in my loft with _my_ guards?"

"Quinn, you've got some explaining to do. I thought we discussed what was to happen with Ms. Berry."

Quinn was standing now, crossing her arms across her chest. "Yes, and I rejected that idea."

Hayley smirked. "Clearly, considering you've chosen to sleep with her instead of kill her. Take them." The guards stepped forward, grabbing each of their arms to drag them out.

"Get your hands off of me! Quinn?" Rachel frantically looked for the blonde who was being shoved in front of her. "Quinn, what's going on?"

"It's going to be okay, Rachel, don't tell them anything. I'll find you."

After they were taken away, Hayley stood in front of the unkempt bed that Rachel and Quinn had just been taken from and scoffed. "That bitch should have listened to those text messages and stayed away. Now we have to get rid of her, because I'm sure Quinn's poured out the entire contents of her heart and soul out to the fucking love of her life."

A figure loomed behind Hayley and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Hayley. I'll take care of everything. Quinn will be running back into your arms in no time."

"Thank you, Miss Corcoran. You've never let me down."

"And I don't intend to start," she answered with a wink.


	11. Looking Glass Headquarters (Past)

Quinn woke up in one of the cells that she had, ironically, put many other people in after they were brought in. When the guards took her out of her loft, she frantically looked for Rachel to see where they were taking her, but they had been split up. Slowly, she sat up on the lumpy cot and rubbed the back of her head. Her head was pounding and didn't even remember being knocked out. She walked over to the sink and splashed lukewarm water onto her face and used her shirt to dry it off. A soft groan came from the cell to her left.

"Rachel?"

The voice answered, "No, I'm not Berry. Who the fuck are you?"

"S-Santana?" Quinn called out to her former best friend. "San, is that you?" The voice didn't answer back right away. Maybe it wasn't her, or maybe she was so angry with Quinn that she was having a brain overload of smartass quips and insults that she passed out. Or maybe...

"You've got a lot of fucking explaining to do, Fabray." Quinn breathed a sigh of relief. At least Santana was speaking to her.

"I know I do. It's been so hard these past few years. I wanted to tell you all what happened, but I couldn't. You have to believe me."

Santana shook her head, even though Quinn wouldn't be able to see it. "You know, Q, normally I would believe you, but it's been four years. _Four_. And you sent Berry that vague letter telling her to get lost. That's harsh even for you."

"I know and I wish I could have done things differently, but they threatened all of you guys and my family and I didn't want anything to happen. These companies are insane and do whatever it takes to get what they want."

"Well, how about you start from the beginning, then? Looks like we got time." They sat down on with their backs against the same wall and Quinn explained everything from when she was approached by her TA to being kidnapped and brought to the Looking Glass Coalition's headquarters. She explained what she wrote in Rachel's letter and why, and also how she became the head of the cure research team.

* * *

While she wrote the letter, Quinn felt her chest contract under the pressure of sending her best friend away. Nothing hurt more than to tell Rachel that Quinn didn't want to see her, didn't want to visit, and was just too busy for her; it couldn't be further from the truth. When Quinn finished writing her letter to Rachel, she sealed it up in an envelope, hoping with every fiber of her body that Rachel would listen to her. For once in her life, Rachel _needed_ to listen to her.

Throughout the next few months, Quinn resisted less and cooperated more. She was moved out of the cells into her own room that reminded her of her dorm, but at least there was a separate bathroom and an actual bed. Hayley came by to see her every so often, to make sure she was settling in okay. They would have their meals together and Hayley showed her around the building. It was basically a giant building with a hospital and apartment complexes with amenities in the top floors and lab rooms underground, but those were restricted. Quinn was only allowed to go into the labs as long as she was escorted by another doctor. Dr. Hadder told her that she would be spending a lot more time down there once she was briefed on the work they were doing.

"I'm so glad you've decided to cooperate with us, Ms. Fabray," Dr. Hadder said as they walked down one of the lab hallway together.

"I didn't really have much of a choice, so I figured I might as well learn something while I'm here," Quinn replied with a shrug.

"That's the spirit. Come along, I'll show you where you'll be working and researching." They walked along another wing of the research labs until they came upon one with a big metal door at the entrance. Dr. Hadder punched in a complicated combination of numbers into the lock next to the door handle until it clicked open. They entered the room and Quinn looked around inquisitively. There were benches line up in four rows; it almost looked like Quinn's lab room at Yale.

"This is where we'll have you work," Dr. Hadder said. "Mr. Abrams, why don't you show her around?" The sound of wheels rolling on linoleum came from one of the benches as a young man in a wheelchair rolled himself into Quinn's vision.

Dr. Hadder opened the door and stepped through, looking back at the high school friends. "I'll leave you two to it. Behave," she said sarcastically. Quinn waited until the door shut and looked back at Artie.

"Artie, what are you doing here? Did they kidnap you, too?"

Artie took off his glasses and cleaned them with his shirt and pushed them back up the bridge of his nose. "No, I came here voluntarily, but it sounds like you put up a pretty good fight. Look at this, Quinn. Look around us. It's a chance in a lifetime to do something magnificent for the world. We're using our resources on finding the cure for cancer, stem cell research, prolonging life, preventing birth defects! The possibilities are endless."

Quinn shook her head. "But your family, and our friends - they'd be worried sick not knowing where we are. Is this worth losing all of them?"

"Well, it looks like you've lost them anyway, and, yes, I honestly do think that this is worth it. Even if I had just been the one to figure out the preventative action for menstrual cramps, I'd be proud to be a part of it."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Are you even listening to yourself? They've taken me away from _everything_ that I love. I was in Yale, I was happy, and Rachel..." her voice trailed off. "Rachel was supposed to come up and see me and now I've basically written her a letter telling her I never want to see her again, because it's safer that way."

"I'm sorry all of that happened to you, but you might as well make the best of it. At least you know someone else that's here, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Great," Artie clapped his hands together. "I'll get you accustomed to the lab since you'll be working with me. Then I'll explain what research I'm doing and what you can do to help and we'll have fun."

Quinn forced a smile across her face and sat down on a stool while she waited for Artie to give her a tour. He was right, Quinn didn't know how long she'd be stuck in this place, so there was no use in staying miserable the entire time. Though, she couldn't stop thinking about Rachel and how disappointed and hurt she probably was. She and Quinn were finally friends and now she was doing the same thing that everyone else had done to her and left and Quinn hated herself for it.

More months passed and she became Artie's assistant. They ran tests together, ruling out any ineffective cure or medications, depending on what they were working on at the time. Stories from high school were shared as were stories about Artie's senior year and the beginning of Quinn's freshman year. They laughed together like old friends, joking around and it was really nice. Quinn missed having familiarity and comfort.

It didn't take much time for Quinn and Hayley to get closer, either. They had a lot in common – both were cheerleaders in high school, had the popularity, and had something major happen sometime in their high school careers – Quinn had been pregnant with Beth and Hayley's parents had been killed in a car accident. She lived with her grandparents until she moved away for college.

When she had been approached by Dr. Hadder about the opportunity to work with the Looking Glass Corporation, she jumped at the chance, much like Artie did, but for a completely different reason. Sure, she wanted to help people, but she had never done anything or gone anywhere and being a girl from Montana with few friends and nothing really keeping her anywhere, this was a grand opportunity.

The more time Hayley and Quinn spent together, the more they got to know each other. They'd go out to lunch and dinner occasionally, talking about each other and finding out what makes the other tick. One night, Hayley invited Quinn over to her apartment on the 30th floor for dinner and a movie – innocent with no ulterior motives, or so Quinn assumed. Quinn walked up to the door and knocked, listening closely for footsteps at the other side of the door. To put it bluntly, she was absolutely terrified.

It had been months since she had seriously socialized and gone out for dinner. The medical building had a cafeteria and Quinn usually went there alone and brought food back to her room. She had no desire to hang out and make small talk with anyone, especially those who actually _wanted_ to be there.

When Hayley opened the door, she gave Quinn a big smile and hugged her politely. She was wearing a long, black, dress and Quinn suddenly felt completely underdressed in her jeans and button-down shirt.

"Glad you could make it," Hayley said shyly.

"Oh, that's okay. I haven't had a home-cooked meal in ages and I definitely don't consider the cafeteria home-cooked."

"No way, it's practically prison food," Hayley joked and they laughed together. If Quinn had been looking for a significant other, or even a one night stand, Hayley would have been the perfect candidate - she was smart, funny, attractive, and sympathized with what Quinn was going through.

She hadn't officially come out, mostly due to her never needing to, but also because it wasn't something she was proud of admitting. Her parents, her pastor, and her congregation had hammered into her head that homosexuality was an abomination; it was wrong, it was disgusting, and God would punish "those people" if they identified as such. Her feelings for others throughout high school made her hate herself more than ever before. If she thought that having sexual intercourse and, as a result of that, a child, out of wedlock when she was sixteen was wrong, being gay on top of that practically gave her a one-way ticket to hell.

It wasn't until she got to college when she decided that none of that even mattered anymore. She gave up trying to impress people and gain their approval. Her internal struggle was constantly there, but she realized that it was _her_ choices that built her life and it shouldn't be the concern of anyone else. Besides, from the choices that she made in high school came a beautiful baby girl. Not only was Beth one of the best things that had happened to Quinn, but it was someone that she had to live for. Shelby told her she could see her during her college breaks if she did well in her classes.

As for the possibility of being gay, she'd always suppressed those feelings and thoughts as best she could. She wasn't even sure if she was and every time she tried to talk to Santana about it, she froze and had a minor panic attack that she blamed on her roommate bringing someone back into their dorm, or something equally untrue.

But being in Hayley's apartment almost made her want to face those challenges and feelings again, because she didn't know if she'd ever get out of there and it would be nice to have someone to share that life with. And yet, she still couldn't stop thinking about what Rachel would think. Would she like Hayley? Would she shun her because Hayley couldn't sing or dance? Would she be jealous, or not care at all?

Quinn shook herself out of her daze when Hayley asked her again if she wanted something to drink. She shrugged and Hayley offered to go pour a glass of wine and told Quinn to go sit down. She took the opportunity to check out Hayley's apartment. The apartment was somewhat informal - almost like a doctor's office - with cheap oil paintings on the wall and magazines strewn across the coffee table, but she noticed a photograph on an end table next to the TV. It was a picture of Hayley and another woman. They were embracing and Hayley had her arms wrapped tightly around the other woman's waist, fingers interlocked and cheek-to-cheek. Quinn was about to walk over and pick it up when Hayley came back with their wine.

"That's Eve."

"She's really pretty," Quinn replied. "Have you two been friends long?"

Hayley went silent for a few seconds, clearly thinking about how she should answer the question. "We met in high school, freshman year, been friends ever since. We... dated when we both went off to college together, never intending for it to happen, but it kind of just did. And now, I'm here, and she doesn't even know."

"I know how that feels," Quinn said quietly. "Have you ever tried writing her a letter like I wrote to Rachel?"

Hayley shook her head. "No, Eve and I broke up right before I got here. It was a pretty bad break up, too, so I didn't think she would even notice."

"I'm sure she'd notice eventually. You don't just forget about someone you've committed to and allowed into your life like that, no matter how hard you try."

"That sounds incredibly optimistic coming from you, Quinn," Hayley joked and Quinn could feel her face flush.

"Yeah, well, there are some things that you have to keep believing if you don't want to become a hollow, emotionless, shell."

"I hear ya," Hayley replied with a glass raised. "Want to head over to the kitchen and I'll plate us up some food? I hope you like eggplant parmesan."

"Sounds delicious," Quinn said, humoring Hayley. She actually hated eggplant, but didn't want to be a bad guest.

"You hate eggplant, don't you," Hayley prodded.

Quinn ran her hand through her hair nervously. "I'm sorry, I can't handle the texture."

Hayley laughed and walked over to turn off the oven. "It's all right, I'll just eat it another night. We can order out, I don't mind. You like Thai?"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Quinn nodded. Hayley smiled warmly and escorted her into the lounge room, carrying their two glasses of wine. They sat down on the tan-colored sofa and talked about themselves – where they came from, what they were doing before being brought to Palo Alto, the people they left behind.

Quinn found herself talking about _everything._ She talked about the Cheerios, glee club, Beth... Rachel. For some reason, she found it necessary to explain her past with Rachel and didn't know why – maybe as a way to help explain their relationship to herself. Hayley noticed the look in Quinn's eyes when she spoke about Rachel. It was completely different from when she was speaking about Beth – she looked passionate and almost sad. When she spoke about Beth, she looked proud.

"You loved her, didn't you," Hayley added.

"I – what?"

"Rachel. You sound like you really, I don't know, admire her or had feelings for her."

Quinn had a look of confusion and disbelief on her face. "No, no, it's nothing like that. We're best friends. I-I love her as a friend."

Hayley chuckled quietly and tugged on a strand of her dark brown hair. "It's just that... you completely light up when you start talking about her. You don't even look like that when you talk about your daughter."

Quinn blushed and covered her cheeks with her hands. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to bring her up all of the time. I must be making it really awkward, talking about her like she's my ex and we're on a blind date."

Hayley laughed and smiled while scooting closer across the couch. "Don't worry about it. Just relax. I have no expectations here; it's just two friends having dinner."

A silent 'thank you' spread across Quinn's face as she relaxed on the couch and took a sip of wine. It had been a long time since she had just had a normal night out and an even longer time since she'd been on a date. She was unbelievably nervous, but in a good way. This was a new beginning of sorts and it was time to move on. The past year had been really hard for Quinn, being separated and alone, but it was finally starting to look like she could start enjoying herself.

"Hey, where are you?" Hayley gazed into Quinn's eyes.

"Nowhere, I was just thinking that tonight made me feel normal, like I could just live my life here instead of counting down the days until I could escape. Not saying I'll ever stop trying to leave, but in the meantime, I can at least concentrate on being happy."

"Good, that's really good. I'm glad to be the one to bring you out of your funk."

Quinn grinned, "Yeah. Thank you."

"Hey, don't mention it. You can pay me back by topping us up," Hayley winked and handed her wine glass to Quinn.

Their dinner arrived and they ate, drank, and laughed together. They began to let their respective guards down and Quinn quickly figured out quickly that Hayley was a touchy-feely drunk. Every time Quinn told a joke or made Hayley laugh, a hand touched her knee or her arm and lingered longer than normal. Hayley's eyes were glazed over and increasing in intensity with every sip of wine. Quinn's heart began to beat faster and broke eye contact constantly to try and shake her nerves. She'd never done this with a woman before and it felt natural, but at the same time, so completely foreign. Hayley seemed like a catch – pretty, great conversationalist, kind and generous, very much like...

"... Rachel."

Quinn looked up at Hayley, questioningly. "What?"

"I was asking you how long you've known Rachel."

Quinn blinked twice before answering. "Oh, we met in high school, but we were in two completely different social structures. I was a cheerleader and she was a member of the glee club and I tormented her for most of our sophomore and junior year. I mean, I was _awful_ , and yet, she still forgave me and wanted to be my friend. I never understood it. I didn't deserve her kindness or her friendship, but I got it. I guess that's why I feel such a strong connection to her, you know? She was the only one who gave me a chance."

"Well," Hayley drawled, "she sounds pretty great."

"Yeah, she is," Quinn smiled thoughtfully. "She's been an amazing friend."

"And _just_ friends... right?"

Quinn narrowed her eyes. "Um, yeah, why do you keep asking me that?" She already knew the answer to that question, but wanted to hear it said out loud. Even in high school, she loved getting attention from others, regardless if she thought the other person was attractive or not – or a female. It made her feel loved, _wanted_. It gave her the feelings her parents were supposed to give her, but constantly fell short on.

"Just making sure," Hayley answered, moving even closer to Quinn on the couch and pausing. "Would... Would it be okay if I kissed you?"

Quinn's pulse started to race and she felt something the pit of her stomach awaken. She looked down at her hands that were placed in her lap and Hayley lay her hand gently on top.

"We don't have to. I just – I really like you, Quinn. And... I don't know. I think I can make you happy."

Quinn stood up and faced Hayley, running a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry, I've never... with a woman. I've only had boyfriends and I'm not even sure I'm ready for a relationship or whatever and I'm actually kind of broken and – "

Hayley stood as well, looking into her eyes, studying the hazel and flecks of green. "Relax, will you? I'm not asking for a relationship and I'm not a traditional lesbian where I'm going to ask you to move in after two dates and talk about having babies after the fifth date. We can take things slow and we don't even have to _be_ anything. I was only telling you that I like you and that I really want to kiss you. That's it. We don't have to put a label on it, don't need to rush into anything. I just like spending time with you. All right?"

Quinn nodded slowly. "Okay. No labels, no pressure."

"None," Hayley smiled. "Hey, have you ever seen _Dexter_?"

"No, but I've heard of it. Why? Are you a serial killer?" Quinn joked.

Hayley laughed and walked over to her media center and filed through her DVDs. "No, I just thought we could find something to watch together. I would have suggested something like _The L Word_ , but the first season is a little risqué and I don't think you're ready for that jelly."

Quinn snorted, finally starting to calm her heartbeat. "I can't believe you just said that."

After finding season 1 of _Dexter_ , Hayley slipped the first disc into her blu-ray player. "Hey, that's a timeless joke, okay? It's always relevant. Now, sit down and enjoy the amazingness of Dexter Morgan."

Haley went to the kitchen to grab more wine and walked back to join Quinn on the couch. They pressed 'play' on the TV remote and listened to the mysteriously creepy intro music to the show and Quinn fidgeted nervously. She's not sure what to expect, but if she were to guess, she might lose her dinner after watching a couple of these episodes. Her stomach isn't as strong as it used to be.

By the middle of the pilot, Quinn found herself identifying with Dexter; his troubled past made his life complicated and he just wanted to fit in. He did everything that he thought he was supposed to do and what he thought his family and society wanted him to. During the middle of the second episode, she felt herself drifting off to sleep and a gentle hand shook her awake.

"Hey, you want to head home? We can finish our marathon some other time."

Quinn rubbed her eyes and sat up. "Yeah, I think I'd better. Maybe we watch more this weekend."

"Sounds like a plan," Hayley said as she stood up and grabbed Quinn's purse. Quinn accepted them with a thank you and headed towards the door. She opened the door and turned around to face her host.

"Thanks for tonight. I had a really good time and I think I needed it."

"No problem, I had a good time too. So... Saturday?"

Quinn nodded in agreement. "Saturday."

"All right, see you then. I mean, I'll most likely see you around before then, but you know," Hayley fumbled over her words and Quinn smiled in amusement. As she left the apartment and heard the door click shut behind her, she started walking down the hallway and realized that she had forgotten her jacket. She considered waiting until Saturday to pick it up, but it was her favorite jacket and paced back towards the apartment door.

The big wooden door greeted her once more and she raised her fist to knock quietly. About five seconds later, the door swung open and Hayley had grabbed the sides of Quinn's face and kissed her fiercely. Together, they took a few steps back and Quinn froze with her arms outstretched. All of her insides did flips all at once and she steadied herself against Hayley, grabbing onto her hips.

When Hayley was about to deepen the kiss and slipped her hands lower to rest on Quinn's torso, Quinn's eyes snapped open and she pushed herself away.

Breathless, she stared at Hayley and whispered, "I forgot my jacket."

Hayley disappeared into the apartment and came back out with the brown jacket, not looking into Quinn's eyes. She looked like she wanted to say something – to apologize or perhaps to say that the kiss couldn't wait until Saturday, but the look on Quinn's face made her think otherwise. Quinn grabbed the jacket and whispered a thank you and when she turned to walk away, Hayley reached out to stop her.

"I-I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds. I just... you're so beautiful, Quinn, and it's been a long time since I've been with anybody, so I just kind of went for it. If you don't want to come back on Saturday, I'll understand."

Quinn looked surprised and shook her head gently. "I - I really..." She wanted to say that she liked Hayley, too, but she didn't know if she was ready to admit anything and wasn't ready for the repercussions. "... I need to go, but I wouldn't mind finishing _Dexter_. I'll call you."

Hayley nodded, because she knew that was the best she was going to get from Quinn at that time. She didn't regret kissing Quinn, but she knew things weren't ever going to be the same and there was no turning back now.


	12. Looking Glass HQ (Past) - 2

Present

"Okay, it's great that you're telling me you almost banged your Stockholm Syndrome buddy who looks freakishly like Rachel, but what does that have to do with why you're still here? And why are _we_ here, for that matter?" Santana jabbed.

Quinn sighed. She knew that any answer she gave wouldn't be sufficient, so she just told Santana the truth. "I'll tell you what I told Rachel. The reason why I stayed here was because these people threatened my friends and family - threatened _you_. They said that if I tried to leave, they would make your lives hell and I couldn't hold that weight on my shoulders. So, I stayed; I did what they asked of me and now that this disease is taking over the world, I couldn't stand by and watch it eradicate the human race." She breathed in heavily. "It's also my fault that all of you guys are here."

"What do you mean it's your fault we're here? We haven't heard from you in years. You made sure of it. In fact, Berry's been so adamant in finding you that she dragged us along for the ride and now I'm stuck in this shithole and I don't even know where Brit is," Santana bit back.

"She would be in the hospital ward; they wanted her opinion on some of the things we've found."

There was a pause that felt like ages. Quinn was worried that Santana would break through the wall and strangle her to death. Instead, a soft voice echoed through the room.

"Why would they need her, though? She's only a nurse and I would have thought they'd have the best of the best in a place like this."

Quinn knew Santana was right. The Looking Glass Corporation headhunted every member of the faculty, so she wasn't sure why they would need Brittany. As high up as she was in the company, the people in charge still didn't disclose everything to her. Dr. Hadder, for one, was very secretive and only told Quinn things she needed to know. One of the research projects that the doctor had Quinn working on during what would have been her sophomore year of college was reproduction for men and women who were told that they were infertile and could not have children. The idea was that they would inject the serum into patients and it would increase fertility, but something had gone wrong in the trials.

They had been testing on animals, which Quinn didn't agree with, but she figured it was better than testing on humans and it wasn't like she had a say in the matter. The various lab animals were kept in a separate room and Quinn would go in occasionally to check on them. They had mice and rats, birds, and even a few exotic animals like chimpanzees and other apes. She never asked how they got them or if they were legally obtained, but, so far, they were only using the rodents.

After various trials, they were finding that the tests were reacting negatively with the male rats, but the female rats were becoming pregnant via artificial insemination at an increasing rate. It wasn't concrete evidence yet, but everyone on Quinn's team saw it as progress.

As weeks passed, more and more tests were done on rats and, later, trials began on the chimpanzees. The results were always the same: the females would fall pregnant and the males would begin getting sick and would eventually die. The scientists couldn't explain it; no matter what they tried, they could never save the males.

When more trials were done, the scientists were confident that they had a marketable product and were given the go-ahead by the CDC. The Looking Glass Coalition began planning the female fertility drug's launch and Quinn had become the main spokesperson and the media was calling her the White Queen in reference to Lewis Caroll's story. She spoke to the media and explained how beneficial their new drug was and that they were also in the initial stages of developing a new and improved flu shot that was going to be more effective in combating the seasonal disease.

Dr. Hadder kept Quinn working on the infertility drug while she had Artie begin working on the flu shot. They still worked in the same lab, but their work didn't overlap with each other, so they didn't speak much.

Quinn hadn't spoken to Hayley since the night they kissed. Hayley sent texts and voicemails, but Quinn didn't answer any of them. She didn't know how to handle any of it – being in California and away from her friends and family, having a new life, her attraction to a woman – the woman being someone who looked like her high school friend that she could have had feelings for, so she did what she did best and ignored it. One day, while she was having lunch in the cafeteria with another colleague, she saw Hayley walk through the doors and let out a sigh. She didn't want a confrontation, so she excused herself from the table and started to walk towards the garbage bin.

"You've been avoiding me," a voice behind her said.

Quinn spun around and looked at Hayley, who didn't look sad or disappointed, but fiery and seemed to be daring Quinn to say that she wasn't avoiding her.

"I'm sorry, I've just been so busy with the work Dr. Hadder has me doing and I barely get any time to sleep. I – "

Hayley raised her hand to interrupt Quinn. "Save your excuses for some poor sap who'll actually believe them, Quinn. We exchanged phone numbers for a reason and I know that a text won't take even thirty seconds to type out. So, you're avoiding me, and I understand, but you don't need to be alone all the time." She stepped forward, making sure she was in Quinn's personal space and leaned in close enough to Quinn's ear so that she could feel her breath. "Besides, you kissed back, remember?"

The pit of Quinn's stomach flipped as she watched Hayley walk away and immediately regretted remaining silent, because now the other woman had the upper hand. She shook her head in disbelief and threw away the rest of her garbage and walked back to her lab. She couldn't understand why she felt so standoffish towards Hayley. The woman was beautiful and nicer than anyone else that Quinn had been with romantically. Maybe Quinn was just masochistic and needed someone to mistreat her in order for them to be with her. In any case, she didn't think that it was the right time to start a relationship with anyone, because she was still determined to get out of that place. She just needed to wait for the right moment.

More weeks passed and Quinn stopped actively avoiding Hayley. She answered her phone calls and replied to texts, but still didn't feel comfortable being alone with her yet, so she continued making excuses for them to not hang out. It wasn't the fact that Hayley was a woman and Quinn was mildly (incredibly) attracted to her that was the problem; it was more that Quinn had never been _this_ attracted to a woman before in such a short time of knowing her, and she wasn't sure how to approach it. Every other relationship she had been in ended in someone getting hurt and she wasn't ready for her heart to be broken again.

Clearly, thinking that persistence was key, Hayley continued to ask Quinn out for coffees or to watch the rest of _Dexter_ , and Quinn finally broke down and agreed to meet up later that week. When the date night came, though Quinn would never admit it to being a date, even though they were having dinner together and watching _Dexter_ all night, she paced around her apartment trying to find something to wear. She didn't want to wear anything suggestive, but she didn't want to look too plain, either. She settled on a pair of fitted jeans and a low-necked green shirt that matched the green specks in her eyes. She kept her hair down, because Hayley had told her that having it in a ponytail made her look like a personal trainer who lived a life full of low carb shakes and rice cakes.

When she got to Hayley's apartment, she took a deep breath and knocked three times. She heard footsteps from the opposite side of the door as it swung open and Quinn was greeted by a smiling face.

"I'm glad you could make it," Hayley said as she ushered Quinn into the apartment. "I have dinner in the oven, so make yourself at home while I check on it. And don't worry, it's not eggplant."

Quinn removed her jacket and hung it on the door and moved towards the couch. She felt more nervous than she ought to; her hands were clammy and her stomach was churning. No one had ever made her feel this way – well, no one other than Rachel, but that was years ago and only one occasion. When they had met up in their usual meeting spot in McKinley's second floor bathroom, Quinn had handed Rachel a metro pass for Rachel to use to visit her in New Haven and when they had hugged, Quinn remembered burying her head in Rachel's hair and neck and inhaling her essence, wanting to commit it to memory. She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when their friendship had become something that Quinn wanted to explore further and deeper, but she knew that she wanted Rachel in her life after high school. Though they never did get to visit each other, Quinn had a feeling that she probably would have developed feelings for Rachel if she hadn't gotten kidnapped and moved to California, and that scared her.

Sitting in Hayley's apartment brought those feelings back and even though she wasn't living with her parents anymore and hadn't gone to church since leaving Lima, she still felt a pang of shame when she caught herself thinking "perverse thoughts," as her father had put it. That was partially the reason why she ran away when she and Hayley kissed in the hallway. The other reason was because she was picturing Rachel while they kissed and she didn't understand why. Hayley did slightly resemble Rachel, but only in looks. Their personalities were polar opposites.

Hayley sat down next to Quinn with two glasses of wine that she placed on the table. "We probably have time for one episode if you want to start."

"I-I think we should talk... about us and what we're doing," Quinn responded quietly.

"Okay," Hayley drawled. "What are we doing? We're having dinner and watching a television show that we both like. I enjoy your company and I'm assuming you enjoy mine enough to stop blowing me off and agree to have dinner with me; or, perhaps, you just agreed so that I would stop harassing you."

"But we kissed," Quinn pushed. She wasn't going to let Hayley brush it off like it happened all the time. It had been the first time Quinn kissed a woman and even though it caught her completely off-guard, she didn't feel as repulsed as she thought she was supposed to.

Hayley hesitated for a moment. "Yes, I kissed you, and you kissed back. Then you ran away."

Quinn felt her face flush. Hearing her say that they kissed out loud made it that much more real. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. This is just really new to me."

Hayley nodded, "I understand. As I said last time, I'm not trying to pressure you into anything. I just really like hanging out. I haven't had many friends since I've been here; everyone's so focused on their work and don't let loose."

They sat and watched their episode until Hayley got up to check on dinner. She had made them a crusted pork roast with slices of bacon on the top that was way too big for the two of them, but Hayley said her father had taught her to "go hard or go home" and, apparently, that applied to cooking, as well.

"Time to eat," Hayley called from the kitchen. She had set the table for two and plated all of the food. Quinn got up from the couch and made her way to the dining table, sitting across from Hayley.

"This smells amazing," Quinn beams and she examines the meal in front of her. Hayley responds with a warm smile.

"Thanks, cooking is the one thing I can do well – I mean, besides sticking needles into people's arms... and kiss. I'm a really good kisser. You and I only scratched the surface." Hayley paused and realized what she had just said. "Oh wow, I'm so sorry. I'm usually not that forward and I know I said I wouldn't pressure you. It just came out."

Quinn smiled nervously and looked down at her plate of food. "It's okay. It's been a while since I've been relentlessly flirted with. It feels... nice." They smiled and laughed and ate, until they were too full to move. Quinn hadn't felt this emotionally light in years.

They ended up finishing their meal and moved over to the couch to continue their _Dexter_ marathon. They got through three episodes before Quinn found herself yawning constantly and feeling her eyelids get heavy.

"Looks like you're done for tonight," Hayley observed, turning the TV off. Quinn grumbled and stretched her arms above her head. She blinked a couple of times and slowly nodded in agreement.

Hayley grabbed Quinn's coat and handed it to her along with her purse and watched as Quinn graciously accepted them. She opened the door to let the blonde out and leaned on the wooden frame. "Can I... can I see you again, or are we going to go back to ignoring each other?"

Quinn felt a pang of guilt that made her chest contract. "I'm really sorry about that," she apologized. "I've just got a lot on my plate and I'm not handling it well. You're really great – honestly – and you've been so patient with me."

"Well, you're worth it," Hayley answered, feeling her face get irritatingly warm. "I mean, I like having you in my life. It's hard to connect with people in this place."

Quinn nodded. "I know what you mean." She slid her arms through her coat and slung her purse over her shoulder. "Well, thank you for tonight. It was really great."

Stepping forward, but not trying her luck by leaning in for a kiss, Hayley said quietly, "You're welcome here anytime." They stood there looking at each other for a few seconds. Something came over Quinn and she didn't expect it; she could feel her heart racing and her stomach churning while she dropped her purse off of her shoulder and placed both hands on Hayley's cheeks. She stared intensely at the brunette and kissed her hard.

A part of her felt like she was betraying Rachel, even though they weren't together, but Quinn felt like she was forgetting about her. When Hayley wrapped her arms around Quinn's back and held her closer, Quinn felt herself letting go of all her loneliness and doubt, letting go of Rachel. Hayley timidly licked Quinn's bottom lip, coaxing her to open her mouth to allow her a taste. Quinn allowed her to and moaned softly when she felt the other woman's tongue lightly flick against hers. She had never felt this aroused with anyone before – not Puck, and definitely not Finn. It was like she could see color for the first time. The bright red and yellow hues behind her eyes were opening a whole new world to her.

Hayley guided Quinn towards the bedroom, removing Quinn's coat on the way there, letting it fall to the floor in an exhausted heap. Quinn's low-necked shirt accented her delicious clavicle and Hayley leaned down to lick across it and nipped up her neck. Quinn's breathing increased rapidly as Hayley eased her down onto the bed, cradling her as she fell onto the pillow. It seemed like there were hands everywhere – touching, groping, caressing. As Hayley gently lifted the bottom hem of Quinn's shirt, and grazed her hand across the other woman's stomach, her breath hitched. Her eyes were closed and she was writhing underneath the other woman, wanting the ache in between her legs to get taken care of, but when Hayley unbuttoned her jeans and slipped her hand inside her panties, Quinn went rigid. Hayley pulled back and looked at Quinn's face, which looked flushed and aroused, but frightened.

"I'm sorry, am I going to fast?" She lifted herself off of Quinn and sat at the foot of the bed, allowing Quinn to sit up.

"No, no, it's okay, really. I'm just – I haven't done this in a really long time and I've never been..." Quinn's voice trailed off and she looked at her hands, embarrassed.

"... with a woman," Hayley finished her sentence for her. Quinn nodded and Hayley smiled consolingly. "It's okay. We don't need to do anything tonight if you aren't ready. You look tired; we can just go to sleep." Even with the pooling arousal between her legs, Hayley would be content just being next to Quinn.

Quinn shook her head and rubbed the pad of her thumb down Hayley's cheek. "I'm fine. I think I just need to go slow."

Hayley nodded and lay a chaste kiss on Quinn's forehead and let her take the reigns. Quinn's hands explored all of Hayley's curves and she lifted her shirt over her head. She sat up and looked up at Hayley, who was sitting in her lap, and brushed some strands of brunette hair behind her ear.

"You're beautiful," she whispered.

"You're not so bad yourself," Hayley answered. Quinn laughed and Hayley brought her head down to capture Quinn's lips once more. Without thinking, Hayley ground her hips down into Quinn and the sound she made surprised the both of them. Quinn put her hands on Hayley's hips and pushed them down, causing Hayley to moan into Quinn's mouth as they kissed heatedly. Finding a surge of confidence, Quinn flipped both of them over and hovered above Hayley, tracing her hand down the valley of her breasts and down to her bellybutton. Quinn nervously played with the button of her pants and Hayley undid them for her.

"I'm not sure what to do," Quinn admitted. Hayley took Quinn's right hand and stuck it into her soaked panties. The wetness made Quinn gasp; she had no idea she could have this affect on someone.

"It's okay, I'll take care of you," said the brunette. When Hayley guided Quinn's fingers to her clit and moved them in tight circles, her hips jerked up so violently that she thought she'd hurt her. Hayley's short breaths and pants told her that the opposite was happening and when the Hayley thought that she was getting the hang of it, she let go of Quinn's hand and slid it down the other woman's jeans.

Quinn gasped and rolled her hips forward, wanting more. Their hands moved faster, circling irratically, until they felt themselves boiling over. It was the first time that Quinn had come with another person at the same time; the intimacy and connection she felt was uncanny, but the name that fell across her lips as she let go wasn't the woman who she had just given her the mind-blowing orgasm.

" _Rachel_."

Hayley almost didn't hear it, but when she looked over at Quinn, she looked horrified. "Oh, God, I didn't mean to say that. I am so sorry."

Hayley waved her hand to brush it off like it didn't mean anything, when, in actuality, it had crushed her to hear Quinn say another woman's name. "It's okay, it happens. Let's just get some sleep." She lay on her back, looking at the bare ceiling, feeling the tears slide down to the pillow. When she knew Quinn had fallen asleep, she gave herself permission to cry until sleep took over her, as well.

* * *

Hours later, Hayley was woken up by the sound of her phone ringing. With a grunt, she reluctantly took her arm back and walked into the other room and closed the bedroom door behind her.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hayley," the voice answered. "Just checking to see how everything is going."

Hayley sighed. "It's going fine, Shelby. I was asleep." She could hear a chuckle coming from the other end.

"And I'm sure sleeping is all you did tonight."

Hayley was losing her patience very quickly. Ever since she and Shelby Corcoran had started working together, Shelby had become strangely invested in knowing every little detail about her relationship with Quinn. She thought that she was just being a nosey friend at first, but she kept asking questions about Quinn that a person usually wouldn't care about, like whom had Quinn been involved with before Hayley. Not really wanting to bring up dirty laundry, Hayley never asked about Quinn's previous relationships. Besides, it didn't matter, because that part of her life was over – that part of everyone's life was over.

"Yes, that's all we did. She wasn't ready for anything physical and I wasn't going to pressure her. I was in her shoes once."

Shelby cleared her throat. "Yes, I know. Did she talk about that high school friend of hers at all?"

"Who, Rachel? A little bit, but she didn't go into much detail. Why?" There was a long pause. "Why are you so obsessed with this girl?" She could hear Shelby let out a deep breath and maybe even a choked back sob.

"She... she's my daughter, and I abandoned her. Twice. When I heard that Dr. Hadder was bringing in someone from Yale who had been from Ohio, I just knew it had to be Quinn. She and my daughter had gotten close near the end of high school, so I was hoping that Quinn would know where Rachel was and how she was doing, but I've been too much of a coward to ask her myself. You know, I was convinced that the two of them were going to start something when they went off to college and away from the stifling small town mentality. They just had this connection that people only dream of having."

Hayley didn't understand why Shelby would tell her something like that when she was seeing Quinn. All it was doing was making her self-conscious and worried that Quinn hadn't ever gotten over Rachel. "She... she said her name when we, you know."

"Rachel's? Oh, honey, I'm sorry."

Hayley bit back tears, promising herself not to let it affect her. "No, it's fine. I mean, you said they had a connection, right? This... this is normal. She didn't get closure and they didn't even have a chance to begin."

The other end of the line was awkwardly quiet. Shelby finally spoke, "You're there now, okay? Quinn was with you tonight, and she knows she was. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Just keep spending time with her and it'll be fine."

Hayley's breath shuddered. "Okay, well, if you want me to find out more about Rachel, I can ask, but I don't want to make it too obvious. It might make me look like a jealous girlfriend."

"You're on girlfriend status already? After sleeping together once?"

"I didn't – we aren't – " Hayley sighed. "I was being metaphorical."

Shelby let out a tiny laugh. "That's not a... nevermind. Rachel loved metaphors." The two women talked for a few minutes more before Shelby finally let her friend hang up. Hayley walked back into the bedroom and slipped underneath the covers, trying not to wake Quinn up. She placed her hand back over Quinn's stomach and felt the blonde shift. Quinn let out a sleepy sigh and held Hayley's hand and brought it up to her breasts. Contentedly, Hayley scooted closer to Quinn's backside and willed sleep to come, but the only thing she could think of was Quinn and Rachel's almost relationship. Then she knew exactly what she needed to do: find Rachel Berry.


End file.
